RotoScoop.com

By Dalton Del Don

As someone who had been relying on Darrius Heyward-Bey, then subsequently spent FAAB on Jacoby Ford only to see the latter leave with a serious injury after his first catch Thursday, I wasn’t too pleased. And after replacing Ford, DHB saw plenty of snaps yet not one single target. It’s clear Carson Palmer has yet to develop any kind of rapport with him. Denarius Moore, meanwhile, looks like he could be a WR2 for fantasy purposes from here on out…Sebastian Janikowski is clearly limited by his injury still…Vincent Brown impressed, and with Malcom Floyd proving to be one of the most brittle players in the league, he needs to be added in all fantasy leagues…What was Vincent Jackson thinking on that interception? He was out to lunch…Philip Rivers once again didn’t play all that well, but it was an absolute jailbreak after Marcus McNeill left injured…Michael Bush played very well and would be an upgrade for about half of the league’s backfields, but Darren McFadden would have taken two of his long carries all the way to the house and probably surpassed 300 yards from scrimmage had he been on the field instead…Rumors of Carson Palmer’s demise may have been exaggerated. He looked terrific and could easily be a top-12 fantasy QB down the stretch.

Calls released (which are hilarious) from a man who was arrested for phoning police about his iPhone not working.

Blaine Gabbert has averaged 104.3 passing yards over his past four games. That’s not ideal. However, Jacksonville is somehow 2-2 over that span…After an impressive two-game stretch when Curtis Painter took over, I fully expected Pierre Garcon to be a major fantasy factor over the rest of the year. I was flat out wrong…Painter has a 0:7 TD:turnover ratio over his past four games…The top-three (non-RB) receivers for the Jaguars on Sunday were Chastin West, Jarrett Dillard and Zach Potter.

“Popeyes” runs out of chicken. Chaos ensues.

Last week I said I preferred Julio Jones to Roddy White over the rest of the season, but after Jones suffered yet another hamstring injury, it’s safe to have a big concern about his health, at least in 2011. As a result, Harry Douglas saw 14 targets one week after seeing none, so he’s definitely on the fantasy radar should Jones miss time…Mark Ingram is now averaging 3.64 yards-per-TOUCH this season. His 2.1 YPC after contact ranks 51st among running backs…Jimmy Graham had another big game Sunday, but he also left at least 30-40 yards on the field thanks to a couple of drops…Fun fact: the Saints are now 0-11 on coin tosses this year (h/t Jeff Duncan)… The big debate this week had to do with Mike Smith going for it on fourth down at the Falcons’ own 29-yard line in overtime, and while I’m personally a bit on the fence (and certainly would have preferred to see a QB sneak there), I find it hard to argue with the numbers. I can totally understand both sides, but let me ask you this, if you had bet your bank account on the Saints, would you have wanted Atlanta to punt or go for it there? I certainly would have chosen the former.

This is apparently the biggest wave ever surfed.

I like how Houston’s rushing attack has become so dominant, even their backup RB is getting pilfered (Derrick Ward had 11 carries and a touchdown Sunday). Since returning from a hamstring injury and finally healthy over the past seven games, Arian Foster has recorded 438 receiving yards – a season’s long pace of more than 1,000 yards. That’s been accompanied by a season’s long pace for 1,616 rushing yards. And to think Ben Tate has managed to be a plenty useful flex play over that period as well. Speaking of Tate, Tampa Bay’s tackling “effort” was as bad as you’ll ever see in a professional game during his touchdown run Sunday…The Bucs started the season 4-2, but it’s not a stretch to call them one of the league’s doormats. They have allowed an NFL-high 8.5 YPA along with 4.7 YPC and the fourth-most rushing TDs in the league (11). Josh Freeman has thrown more interceptions over his past three games than he did all of last year and has the second-most picks in the NFL. They are also the third-most penalized team in the league. A tougher schedule has had something to do with it, but as a young unit, this team hasn’t grown this season but regressed instead…What a tough blow losing Matt Schaub for the season. With a ridiculously easy upcoming schedule (they should only be underdogs in one of their final six games, and it won’t be by much in Cincinnati, even without Schaub), a legit defense and the NFL’s best rushing attack (not to mention Andre Johnson returning), we might be looking at Matt Leinart as the starting quarterback for the AFC’s No. 1 seed. The loss of Schaub hurts the fantasy value of Foster and Tate (in theory Houston may go even more ground heavy, but the Texans already have 67 more rushing attempts than any other team in the league, and while in fairness they haven’t had a bye yet, volume certainly hasn’t been an issue), since the offense will suffer a downgrade, but hopefully it won’t be a killer. It’s possible Leinart got an unfair rep in the past, and he’s been in Houston’s system two years now and has a bye week to prepare with the ones, but few should be rushing to grab him in fantasy leagues considering his circumstances.

Mike Francesca explains “fungibility.” Needs to buy a dictionary.

Not only did Ben Roethlisberger fracture the thumb on his throwing hand and (obviously) plans on playing through it, my favorite part is he doesn’t remember how or when the injury occurred. Save for decapitation, I can’t fathom an injury that would prevent him from playing…For the sake of the league, I hope A.J. Green’s injury isn’t serious. Troy Polamalu’s effort was almost as bad as Vincent Jackson’s on Green’s TD catch, for what it’s worth. I guess let’s just chalk them both up to losing the ball in the sun/lights. Green actually received a carry after the injury, so he’ll hopefully be back in action in Week 11…Despite allowing an NFL-low 5.8 YPA, Pittsburgh’s two interceptions Sunday doubled their season total.

The world’s most expensive dessert is a measly $35,000. I’d rather go to The French Laundry instead.

Cam Newton has been great during his rookie season, Sunday’s game notwithstanding, but this is a really bad Carolina defense, which makes it all the more frustrating they allocated so many resources into re-signing DeAngelo Williams. Their 8.3 YPA allowed is the second-highest in football, and their 12 rushing scores ceded is tied for the most…Chris Johnson continues to get back on track, and encouragingly, his Week 14 and 15 opponents are the Saints and Colts – the former has yielded a league-high 5.2 YPC while the latter has given up the third-most fantasy points to opposing running backs this season.

Portland nudist broke no laws by killing, gutting horse, then posing naked inside carcass. If you choose to click the link accompanying this article, you’ll see some next level shit.

Contracts be damned, if I’m a Larry Fitzgerald fantasy owner, I’d prefer John Skelton to Kevin Kolb without question at this point. Fitzgerald was one yard away from scoring three times Sunday (although it should be noted he’s absolutely owned the Eagles throughout his career)…Not only did Philly lose at home as 14-point favorites while coming off a loss in primetime during a must-win contest, they did so while scoring a defensive touchdown and with Arizona missing two field goals. No fluke lost fumbles were involved either. Michael Vick’s ribs BETTER have been broken, as there’s really no other reasonable explanation, even without DeSean Jackson and a hobbled Jeremy Maclin. Vick missed a wide open Brent Celek (who’s now a top-12 fantasy TE) for a long touchdown. If Vick misses time, it’s not crazy to consider Vince Young a QB1 for fantasy purposes.

This guy has undergone numerous surgeries in an effort to look like Superman.

It’s been beaten to death, so bear with me, but did Tim Tebow really go 2-for-8? And finish with a QB rating over 100? And dating back to his last game, Tebow went more than a full four quarters without completing a single pass! Both victories! Not that Willis McGahee or (especially) Knowshon Moreno are special backs, but it’s also crazy the team had to immediately turn to their RB3 in a game plan that featured 55 rushing attempts Sunday. The Broncos had zero completions at halftime. And had a 10-point lead in Arrowhead. Pretty incredible…Lance Ball needs to be added in deep fantasy leagues with McGahee no sure thing to return during a short week. Speaking of which, Denver’s offense will likely eventually be solved, but New York is up against it coming off a Sunday night game and having to travel across the country to play Thursday. They will have two practices to prepare for such a unique offensive scheme. That said, what is the over/under for Tebow’s passing yards/attempts this week?…Tyler Palko = Shane Falco, only without the happy ending.

Sticking with the Chiefs game, this Jonathan Baldwin catch (negated by a penalty) would otherwise go down as probably the best of the season.

Tony Romo opened Sunday’s game 13-for-13 for 195 yards (15.0 YPA) with two touchdowns. He slowed down a bit after that, completing 18-of-19 passes for 237 yards and three scores before Dallas turned to a conservative offense in a blowout. Other than Aaron Rodgers, there probably hasn’t been a more impressive performance this season. Maybe he’s finally fully recovered from his rib injury…Laurent (the “T” is silent) Robinson should be at minimum a flex play as long as Miles Austin is out, and Dez Bryant continues to have a bunch of upside, revealed by his incredible touchdown catch…C.J. Spiller’s drop wide open deep downfield was indefensible. What a huge bust…I’d now say you are being conservative if you call DeMarco Murray a top-10 fantasy back.

Notorious B.I.G. calms down crying baby.

One week after the Rams had a potential game-winning field goal blocked at the end of regulation, they faced a Browns team that shanked a 22-yard FG that would have put them up with just two minutes left (mostly the snapper’s fault). St. Louis has scored just one touchdown over its past two games…Hard to remember (or fathom) this Cleveland team started the season 2-1. At least Joe Thomas continues to play at an elite level, but there’s not a franchise in greater need of improvement at the skill positions…According to Adam Schefter, Sunday marked the first time in NFL history since realignment that all four NFC West teams won in the same week.

Festive guy on bath salts breaks into home, puts up Christmas decorations.

At this point, what else is to be said about Mike Shanahan? Who exactly is he trying to fool? His own players? Well done, sir, as your antics are clearly working. He needs to be fired yesterday, and this isn’t just coming from a fantasy perspective. Quit making it about you, dude. It’s clear all that time at the tanning salon has officially fried his brain…Over the last four games, Reggie Bush has averaged 89.8 yards from scrimmage with three touchdowns, with an impressive 5.5 YPC mark as well. I must say, I really didn’t see this coming.

I understand the argument against Baltimore calling for Joe Flacco attempting 52 passes versus just five rushing attempts for Ray Rice, but Seattle has allowed just 3.6 YPC this season (fourth-best in the NFL), and they did get Rice eight more touches as a receiver. And actually one more a passer, when he tossed a one-yard touchdown. Still, Flacco remains so inconsistent. And while it’s probably not predictive, owners should realize he’s posted a 4:9 TD:INT ratio against the Bengals during his career, so he’s not the best start in Week 11…Marshawn Lynch saw a whopping 37 touches Sunday and now leads the NFL in the category over the past two weeks. Despite totaling just 24 yards in one of them, he’s somehow averaged 116.3 total yards over his past four games, scoring in each of his past five contests as well. I’m shocked…Speaking of unexpected, after Baltimore scored a touchdown with 5:52 left to make it a one possession game, they would never see the ball again, as the Seahawks ran out the rest of the clock. Pretty crazy.

I was disappointed the UFC fight lasted just 63 seconds during its first spot in primetime on Fox on Saturday night, but it was certainly one hell of a knockout. They admittedly should have had another undercard instead of 40 minutes of buildup (or both), but boxing can’t match that heavyweight card, even if it ended so prematurely with a KO by the underdog.

As a 49ers fan whose family has season tickets, I went to my first day game Sunday for the first time in years, since I’m more obsessed with my fantasy teams and also in no small part because I want to watch all the games to write this article. But I must say, getting caught up Monday and Tuesday with the help of “short cuts” on DIRECTV has been quite thorough. What an awesome option. And I rewatched the SF/NYG matchup I was at as well, which either speaks for how good of a game it was or how inebriated I got while starting to tailgate at 9 a.m. Probably both…I continue to love Jim Harbaugh more and more, from him randomly going pass heavy Sunday to his onside kick. And speaking of the latter, between David Akers, Andy Lee and Ted Ginn, it’s tough to match a better special teams than San Francisco’s right now…Navorro Bowman is on pace to finish with 164 tackles, and Carlos Rogers is tied for the NFL lead with five picks this season with opposing passers accumulating just a 50.0 QB rating when throwing into his coverage…Eli Manning once again played like a star, with both of his two touchdown passes highly impressive throws, and a Victor Cruz drop cost him another huge gainer, but Alex Smith matched him Sunday, with his lone interception coming off a Ted Ginn drop (and he even got more YPA (8.1 v. 7.8) and was essentially without Frank Gore). A healthy Gore is probably one of the half dozen best backs in the NFL, but without question, the 49ers would suffer a much greater loss if Smith went down instead, which speaks volumes of the difference of importance of the positions.

Jon Stewart goes off on Jerry Sandusky.

While acknowledging Chicago scored three touchdowns Sunday thanks to special teams and defense, they are absolutely contenders and are certainly bigger threats to go into Green Bay in a potential NFC Championship and win than the Lions. Chicago, after all, has allowed a season-low 111.4 QB rating to Aaron Rodgers…Hey, I love the Detroit story line and look forward to their home game against the Packers on Thanksgiving, but Matthew Stafford has got 6.1 YPA over his past four games, and they really struggle to run the ball (if you take away Jahvid Best’s 88-yard run, as a team they have averaged 3.7 YPC. That run counts, but Best isn’t coming back this season, let’s just face it. And this is coming from someone who owns him in multiple leagues). The ability to run the ball is overrated in the media, but it’s also become so overrated in the stat community it might be underrated. You at least need the threat. Ironically, Detroit’s best asset has been their ability to defend the pass this season…Calvin Johnson saw a modest 19 targets Sunday.

How to score a one-point safety in football.

I don’t really get why people seem to be overlooking the Patriots. This isn’t me being Captain Hindsight after Sunday night’s game, as for those who follow my picks ATS, which have been entirely mediocre at best so far this year, I seemingly always back New England, as I simply can’t stop believing in them. I get their defense is suspect, but despite the increase in interceptions by Tom Brady (he was largely lucky there last year and has been probably somewhat unlucky there this season so far), he’s on pace to finish with 41 touchdown passes, which is five more than last season’s MVP-winning campaign (the first ever unanimous choice), and his YPA has also improved from 7.9 to 8.4. In fact, that 8.4 number is even better than his historic 50-touchdown season in 2007. This passing offense, while a bit unconventional thanks to the heavy tight end usage, is extremely effective and is second only to the Packers. The only game the Patriots won’t be at least touchdown favorites over the rest of the season will be in Philadelphia, so they look like the clear favorites to be the AFC’s No. 1 seed, especially with Matt Schaub done for the year. Only the Packers should have better Super Bowl odds…Mark Sanchez called an inexplicable timeout with 1:24 left in the first half right before he rushed for a touchdown (it was either that or a FG), giving the Patriots an extra 17 seconds on the ensuing drive, which unsurprisingly resulted in a touchdown with nine seconds left in the half. Rex Ryan called it “the stupidest thing in football history.”

As a Floyd Mayweather fan, I actually thought Manny Pacquiao won Saturday’s fight, although it was obviously close. And it was a shame and could have been quite different had Marquez’s corner not told him he was easily winning the cards with two rounds to go, imploring him to play it safe and not get knocked out, resulting in him losing the final round to all three judges in a tentative performance. Nevertheless, come on, Mayweather would now be the heavy favorite if the super fight ever happens, but word is, Pacquiao is now much more interested in a fourth fight with Marquez than he is with getting into the ring with Mayweather. I can’t say I blame him.

Ryan Grant looks like he’s running in sand. James Starks has separated himself a decent amount, but he should be getting more touches, especially playing for a team often up double-digits. Of course, there’s not much to complain about passing a lot when it comes to a team that has won 15 straight games…Again, why does Percy Harvin play limited snaps?…Jordy Nelson is on pace to finish with 1,125 receiving yards and 12.5 touchdowns…Aaron Rodgers has produced 30 touchdowns with just three turnovers this season. His 72.9 completion percentage would easily set an NFL-record. He’s also on pace to break the record for most touchdowns by a quarterback. The only reason he might not also break the yardage record is because he’s too good. And I’m being serious with that comment (all of Drew Brees’ interceptions necessitate more pass attempts. Rodgers left Monday’s game with 11 minutes left).

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By Dalton Del Don

Last week I went 6-8, also losing my best. I’m 62-63-5 so far this year. Best bet is 3-5-1. Onto the Week 10 picks:

RAIDERS +7 at Chargers (check the comments here)

JAGUARS -3 at Colts

Broncos +3 at CHIEFS

STEELERS -3 at Bengals

BILLS +5.5 at Cowboys

Saints pick ‘em at FALCONS

Rams +2.5 at BROWNS

REDSKINS +4 at Dolphins

TEXANS -3 at Buccaneers

Titans +3 at PANTHERS

CARDINALS +14 at Eagles

Ravens -7 at SEAHAWKS

Lions +2.5 at BEARS

GIANTS (Best Bet) +3.5 at 49ers

PATRIOTS +1 at Jets

VIKINGS +13.5 at Packers

Comments: A whopping 11 games have a spread of four points or fewer this week. Tough slate…I’ll be at the 49ers game Sunday and rooting for them, but I bet against them this week (didn’t like any teasers) and actually got four points. I expect it to be close.

By Dalton Del Don

If Felix Jones remains in the mix after returning from injury it would hardly be the first time a coach plays a less deserving veteran over a superior younger player, so a timeshare can’t be ruled out, but I’d have a hard time not treating DeMarco Murray as a top-10 fantasy back right now, especially if his involvement as a receiver Sunday is a sign of things to come. Dude looks like an absolute stud, and while Dallas’ offense has been hugely disappointing, it should improve moving forward. Jones has reached 5.0 YPC in two of his past 16 games played. Murray has got 6.3 or better in each of his past three, including against the team that entered with the NFL’s top run defense last week. Murray’s 3.9 YPC after contact leads the NFL (minimum 75 rushing attempts). Having him on zero of my fantasy teams is killing me…I have no idea where that came from, Marshawn Lynch…Is it good or bad news that it’s Miles Austin’s other hamstring now pulled?…My love for Dez Bryant hasn’t been lost, but it’s certainly been tested.

Police car crashes into plane during drug bust.

Like A.J. Green, Julio Jones is already a star and a future superstar. What a ridiculous catch on that 50-yard touchdown Sunday while triple-teamed. And while the Colts’ secondary is a joke and took terrible angles trying to make a tackle, his 80-yarder wasn’t too unimpressive either. It’s not a no-brainer or anything, but I’d prefer Jones over Roddy White in fantasy leagues moving forward. I bet my friend $100 before the season who has the better career, Jones or Green. If both make the Hall of Fame, we’ll call it a wash…After posting a 4:0 TD:INT ratio while getting 9.8 YPA over weeks 3 and 4, Curtis Painter has a 1:5 TD:INT ratio with a 4.7 YPA over his past four games. Also, pretty sobering news about Peyton Manning this past week, as it now appears there’s about a 25 percent chance he never plays again, which would be a shame. Although it’s hard to feel bad for a franchise that might transition from Manning to Andrew Luck…Indy’s secondary has allowed a 112.1 QB rating to opposing passers, which would go down as the worst in NFL history.

Awesome homage to one of the best scenes in the history of cinema by Tony Reali and Around The Horn.

The Bills simply don’t match up well with the Jets. It might be the difference between them making the playoffs and not…Good to see Fred Jackson’s injury wasn’t serious. It’s hard not to root for his story…Plaxico Burress came within inches from scoring Sunday, and it was pretty impressive, as he drove/carried multiple defenders a few yards just to come up a bit shy of the end zone…I still don’t understand why New York doesn’t involve Santonio Holmes more (he’s the only receiver in football to play at least 450 snaps and not drop a single pass this season)…Mark Sanchez is not the best blocker.

Bride answers text message during marriage.

Ben Tate doesn’t have a catch since Week 3 and has had a fumbling problem this season, but he’s obviously quite talented and plays in the NFL’s best rushing system. Without question he’d be a top-five fantasy back if Arian Foster were to go down, but even as is, he’s averaged 75.5 rushing yards over his past four games – all while acting as a backup. He’s a decent flex play even with Foster healthy…Greg Little gets the targets, but he’s raw, and the team’s offense makes him nothing more than a desperation fantasy play at the moment. It’s too bad, since he’s actually tied (with Dwayne Bowe) for the league-lead among WRs with 10 broken tackles. I was wrong about Colt McCoy possibly developing into a useful quarterback this season. He’s not even close to the answer as Cleveland’s future franchise QB…Chris Ogbonnaya was brutal Sunday, but he’s not the worst flex option in deep leagues in Week 10 against a Rams team that struggles against the run. The volume should be there at least…The Texans have allowed a 66.9 QB rating to opposing passers this season, which is the lowest in the NFL.

Burly rugby player has a stroke after freak gym accident, wakes up gay and becomes a hairdresser.

It’s rare to have a quarterback for a 7-1 team throw for more than 201 yards just once all season, but so is the case with Alex Smith and the 49ers. I still can’t believe it looks like I’m going to be able to go to a home playoff game this year. And it might even come after a bye. Unreal…Roy Helu with 14 catches on 17 targets, wow. Washington’s offense is definitely worse with John Beck starting over Rex Grossman, but Helu looks like an RB3 at minimum for fantasy purposes moving forward. Good thing I blew a bunch of FAAB on Ryan Torain earlier this year…When Graham Gano made a 59-yard field goal at the end of the first half Sunday, it marked his first ever from beyond 50 yards in his career and also the team’s first points over its last six quarters…San Francisco hasn’t allowed a 100-yard rusher in its past 30 games.

Come for the record-setting jump roping but stay for her facial expression.

Mike Williams has averaged 9.8 yards-per-catch this year, good for 98th among all wide receivers…Make no mistake, Darren Sproles has been one of the most valuable skill position players in the NFL this season…Drew Brees has bounced back with a 7.9 YPA mark this season and currently has the second-highest QB rating in football, and while interceptions have remained a problem, it’s also worth noting he’s the only quarterback in the NFL yet to fumble in 2011…It’s too bad Gerald McCoy can’t stay healthy. He’s a really good player when on the field.

Mike Tyson quotes: The Song.

I’m all about following the Andrew Luck situation, but to say teams are tanking for him is laughable. The Dolphins had lost by three points or fewer in three of their previous five games, so while Sunday’s 31-3 outcome in Kansas City was certainly a surprise in how it played out, the win itself wasn’t overly shocking. Although I certainly can’t say I saw Reggie Bush’s last two games coming. He’s totaled 262 yards, averaging 7.5 yards-per-touch…Anthony Fasano has more touchdowns on his last three catches as Brandon Marshall has total this season (of course, that’s a silly stat, and I remain a big Marshall believer moving forward. Week 9 was obviously a good start)…After I called Jonathan Baldwin’s impressive Week 8 performance a killer for Steve Breaston’s fantasy value, naturally, the latter led KC with seven catches and 115 yards in Week 9.

Pretty cool Halloween costume.

Nice to see Chris Johnson still has a pulse, but it’s pretty crazy we are now in Week 10, and he’s received 15 carries just twice this season. And can someone explain to me the logistics about the rumors of him possibly being released at the end of the year. I mean, the $30 million he was guaranteed, is well, guaranteed, right?…I must say, I loved the Bengals under six wins before the season started, and the only reason I didn’t bet it was because Vegas apparently agreed, accompanying it with an extreme vig. I couldn’t have been more wrong. A relatively easy schedule has helped, but that’s a legit defense, and A.J. Green is a playmaker. Andy Dalton has been way better than he looked in the preseason and is doing my name proud. Cincy isn’t a fluke at all, but unfortunately they have to deal with Baltimore and Pittsburgh in its own division.

This deer might like tacos as much as I do.

I like Hue Jackson’s willingness to be aggressive when it comes to tactical decisions, but his benching of Darrius Heyward-Bey will never be forgiven nor forgotten as long as I live. Of course, this is coming from someone who started DHB in multiple fantasy leagues (and it literally cost me my game in my home league), but even in real football, “wha happened?” Heyward-Bey averaged 96.3 receiving yards over his previous four games entering Week 9, so while I can respect a benching for an unreported off field issue such as him imbibing in purple drank, don’t tell me it had to do with packages and offensive sets. Really, T.J. Houshmandzadeh saw more snaps. Give me a break Jackson…Jacoby Ford and Denarius Moore certainly become interesting as a result. And despite Carson Palmer being on pace to throw 64 interceptions over a full season, he exhibited enough arm strength Sunday to ease concerns there and got 9.5 YPA…The whole “anything” > Tebow meme was pretty funny this past week, but apparently the latter had the last laugh. His leash just got a lot longer. Tebow has averaged 73.2 rushing yards as a starter during his brief career. Michael Vick has averaged 54.0 in his…Good thing I benched Willis McGahee in one of my leagues. I have actually been high on him in 2011 but had no clue he had that breakaway speed on his 60-yard TD run. The presence of Tebow (as a running threat at the QB position) could really be a boon to McGahee’s fantasy value down the stretch.

Of course this “fake girlfriend” idea would never be needed by any of my readers, but it’s still pretty funny regardless.

The Giants/Patriots game had the highest over/under of Week 9, so naturally, it was the first 0-0 game at halftime in the NFL this season. Of course, the fireworks started shortly thereafter, in what turned into a terrific game. It’s a bit anecdotal, but Eli Manning does actually appear to be “clutch.”…Sunday’s loss was Tom Brady’s first at home over his past 32 regular season starts…What a horrible fumble on a fair catch by Aaron Ross…At first, Wes Welker’s injury looked severe. Good to see him bounce back. He’s still on pace to finish with 132 receptions and 1,920 yards, which would rank second and first in NFL history, respectively…As long as Ahmad Bradshaw is out, Brandon Jacobs remains a must-start. And Jake Ballard has become a TE1 for fantasy purposes as well.

There’s nothing to be ashamed about with this dancing ability. And to be fair, it’s tough not to when listening to “Smooth Criminal.”

While it was nice to see Beanie Wells catch his first pass Sunday since Week 1, he’s clearly hobbled by his knee injury, and it was discouraging to see him gain 20 rushing yards on 10 carries versus one of the league’s weakest run defenses. He’s now got 3.2 YPC over his past four games. I have Wells on a few teams, and I’d trade him (and another part) for DeMarco Murray in a second…Just when Greg Salas looked like he might emerge as a true PPR asset, he’s now out for the year with a broken leg…The Rams became the first team in the history of the NFL on Sunday to score four points in a quarter. Speaking of safeties, shouldn’t they be worth more than two points in fantasy leagues? I mean, not only are they rare, but the accompanying field position gain in real football isn’t reflected in the scoring in fantasy terms. I say they should be worth at least four points…First off, Patrick Peterson absolutely shouldn’t have tried to return that OT punt from the 1-yard line. Secondly, it tied for the longest touchdown in overtime in NFL history.

I can’t decide if this is the most disturbing or best music video of all-time. Probably both.

In case you have $27,500 burning a hole in your pocket, here’s a giraffe for sale.

I keep waiting for the Packers to have a letdown game (and even bet on San Diego’s ML last week), but even with a suspect defense, this team is quite clearly the best in football and their ability to stay focused week-to-week (especially after winning the Super Bowl) has been highly impressive. Aaron Rodgers is making a mockery of the NFL right now. He’s got 10.5 YPA with a 16:2 TD:INT ratio over his past five games. I understand the reluctance to overrate the “now” sports culture, but it’s not a stretch to give him a 25 percent chance of going down as the best player in NFL history. He’s certainly the most valuable commodity in professional sports right now…Philip Rivers (and the Chargers) remains confounding. Halfway through the season, he already has more interceptions than he did all of last year and is just one away from tying his career-high. And two Sunday were returned for touchdowns. Yet he also tossed four touchdowns and got 8.4 YPA while making a valiant comeback attempt (making Vincent Jackson owners happy as well). While Rivers may not lead the NFL in YPA for a fourth straight season, his 8.1 mark is still elite, so I’ll take his not being injured stance at face value. Interceptions have a lot to do with random variance anyway…What was Charlie Peprah thinking trying to return that interception at the end of the game? Unbelievable.

The man who pressed his luck…and won. This was truly insane.

Vancouver restaurant bans men from peeing standing up.

With Pittsburgh entering 4-0 at home and Baltimore just 1-2 on the road, and the Steelers seemingly motivated after being embarrassed during their first matchup in which they committed seven turnovers, I fully expected them to win Sunday night in primetime. After all, this was a Ravens team that had to come back from being down 24-3 to a bad Cardinals team the week before. Obviously, I was wrong. Great final drive by Joe Flacco, who also had to deal with a terrible drop by (later hero) Torrey Smith and a Ray Rice 78-yard TD run on the game’s first play that was negated by a highly questionable holding penalty…Antonio Brown is legit and was robbed of a touchdown by a pass that was clearly intended for him that Mike Wallace stole in the fourth quarter. Of course, Ben Roethlisberger owners won’t complain either way.

I typically keep this column light-hearted, with ridiculous links and whatnot. The only time I get real serious is when a coach punts at an inopportune time, or something to that effect, but I’d be remiss not to mention the Penn State issue, which has rocked the sports world this week. I actually don’t have much to add, other than it’s sickening and horrible beyond belief. I will say this – the saddest part is that it took more than 13 years to come to light. What a disgrace. It’s not a stretch to call this the most reprehensible and lowest moment I’ve ever experienced as a sports fan.

While the first 28 minutes resulted in just 10 points total, Monday night’s matchup turned out to be an entertaining game. Fumbles had a lot to do with it, and the consequent benching (albeit fairly brief) of Matt Forte seemed a bit ridiculous. For two teams that struggle with pass protection and/or quarterbacks who like to hold onto the ball, it’s safe to say it was shocking that they totaled just one sack…The fake punt called by the Eagles was brilliant, but the pass was beyond pathetic. I get it’s a pressured situation on MNF, but come on, Chas Henry simply has to make that throw…The Eagles have been outscored by 36 points in the fourth quarter this season, which is the worst point differential in the NFL…Brent Celek is officially back on the fantasy radar. The same could be said about Earl Bennett…Jay Cutler’s 6.5 YPA doesn’t tell the story. He suffered from numerous drops, as he was slinging it all over the field Monday night, showing the type of upside when he’s on his “A” game. There’s now no question Matt Forte is a star running back, but the Bears have a bottom-three WR corps. Cutler is turnover-prone, but as Monday showed, he also possesses quite a bit of upside.

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By Dalton Del Don

Last week I went 4-8-1, also losing my best bet thanks in part to a missed 31-yard field at the buzzer. I’m 56-55-5 so far this year. Best bet is 3-4-1. Onto the Week 9 picks:

DOLPHINS +4 at Chiefs

Buccaneers +9 at SAINTS

Falcons -7 at COLTS

BROWNS +11 at Texans

JETS +1 at Bills

49ers -3.5 at REDSKINS

Seahawks +11.5 at COWBOYS

Bengals +2 at TITANS

BRONCOS +8.5 at Raiders

GIANTS +9 at Patriots

RAMS +3.5* at Cardinals

Packers -5.5 at CHARGERS (Best Bet)

Ravens +3 at STEELERS

BEARS +8.5 at Eagles

Comments: The Chargers are coming off a short week, whereas the Packers are coming off a bye, but that’s a pretty massive line. I wouldn’t be surprised if San Diego wins outright. That said, I’m now less enthused about this proclamation having seen this prediction become quite the trend this week…The Rams/Cardinals line has since changed, but as always, I post the lines here that we use when the staff picks column for RW is due on Wednesday. Sometimes movement helps, other times it hurts. And while favorable movement in no way guarantees a win, this one was extreme enough to at least mention…My bets placed for this week: Teaser with Saints and Cowboys. Also, a moneyline parlay with the Cowboys, Eagles, Texans and Chargers. Go San Diego. That’s just asking for trouble.

By Dalton Del Don

Eli Manning completed 68.9 percent of his passes for 349 yards with a 2:0 TD:INT ratio Sunday, and while it came against a suspect secondary that was dealing with injuries, the numbers could have been much bigger had the Giants not suffered numerous drops on perfectly thrown passes (Hakeem Nicks and Jake Ballard were the two biggest culprits). Manning has thrown 58 touchdowns over the past two years and is currently getting 8.8 YPA, which ranks second only to Aaron Rodgers this season all while playing outdoors. He’s been highly impressive…Reggie Bush eclipsed 100 yards rushing for just the second time in his entire career (and his first since his rookie season)…The Dolphins have now lost 10 straight games. You know something is wrong when Steve Slaton is being used as your primary goal-line back…If Hakeem Nicks is forced to miss time with his hamstring injury, both Mario Manningham and Victor Cruz would be must-starts, with each possessing top-15 WR type fantasy upside.

This “Walker Texas Ranger” clip left me speechless.

Arian Foster had to fight hard for his yards against a solid Jags defense, but make no mistake, he’s back to who he was last year and is no one-hit wonder. It’s a terrific system in Houston (Ben Tate would be a top-7ish fantasy back if Foster were to go down, although his fumbling has become a real problem), but Foster is truly talented in his own right. Unless you’re Barry Sanders or Adrian Peterson, it’s comical to take a RB in the first few rounds in the NFL Draft…After scoring 10 touchdowns last season, Marcedes Lewis has zero through seven games this year…After recovering a fumble in the second quarter, not one but two laterals were executed by Jacksonville offensive linemen. “Pot Roast!” Rich Gannon proceeded to say they practice that scenario. I call bullshit.

I know they recently made a horrible comedy loosely based on this, but it’s so much better than that, as this is easily one of the craziest crime stories I’ve ever read.

I can’t say I expected the Ravens to be down so big so early at home against a league doormat after getting embarrassed in primetime the previous week. If you backed St. Louis and Arizona against the spread, you were up a combined 62 points at halftime…Pretty impressed by Beanie Wells carrying the ball 22 times for 83 yards and a touchdown while dealing with a knee injury against such a tough defense that had allowed the second fewest fantasy points to opposing running backs entering Sunday but also discouraged he later admitted it’s a problem that will be season long. The injury clearly limited his explosion…After scoring just one touchdown since Week 2, Ray Rice owners had to be happy with his three scores from the goal-line Sunday, making up for an otherwise disappointing effort in such a plus matchup…In a tie game with 48 seconds left and with Baltimore having the ball at Arizona’s 5-yard line, how do the Cardinals not let the Ravens score when they actually attempted to do so by handing off to Rice? Of course, they started kneeling right afterward.

Man claims prostitute turned into donkey. If only I had a nickel for every time that happened to me.

The Saints/Rams game was a good recent example of how open-minded we must all be when examining the NFL. The spread was insane – essentially it meant New Orleans would have been nearly three touchdown favorites at home…Where did that come from, Steven Jackson?…It doesn’t matter who lines up, the Saints simply struggle to run the ball. There’s little to no correlation with a strong passing attack and run blocking…Drew Brees has now thrown 32 interceptions over his past 22 games.

Saw Louis C.K. live last week, which was predictably awesome. He was fantastic. I couldn’t recommend seeing him in person enough. However, the show just so happened to land on the same night as Game 6 of the World Series, so I missed a lot of what turned out to be essentially the craziest sporting event of all time. Great postseason in general. Great World Series too. And this wager wasn’t too bad either.

Adrian Peterson’s touchdown run was one of the most impressive of the season so far. What a true difference maker from a position that usually doesn’t matter. And after looking like Michael Turner as a receiver throughout 2011, his fantasy owners have to be most excited about his five catches for 76 yards (and a TD). AP had three receiving yards combined over his past four contests, and this didn’t come out of nowhere, as the coach speak of getting him more involved in the passing game this past week was apparently no joke…While I will give the caveat I don’t watch a ton of college football (although how good was Saturday night’s game between Stanford and USC?! Down seven points with less than a minute left, pretty crazy the Cardinal ended up covering a 7.5-point spread), I fully expected Cam Newton to be a bust at the NFL level, so I want to issue a formal apology. Guy is beyond legit…I picked Carolina as my “best bet” this week, so I can’t say I was happy to see Olindo Mare miss a 31-yard field goal at the buzzer (the first miss by a Minnesota opponent all year). Shankapotomus.

The best statistics question ever.

After yet another hugely disappointing performance at home against an Indy defense that entered having allowed the most fantasy points to opposing running backs, Chris Johnson’s value is at an all-time low. Javon Ringer took over backfield duties in the fourth quarter. I really can’t remember something like this happening to such an established player in his prime and healthy at the running back position. Selling low may be more advisable than buying low at this point…Curtis Painter had as many rushing yards (79) as the rest of the Colts combined Sunday…Most argued the Colts wouldn’t skip a beat without Peyton Manning, but I stand by my original position that it would hurt them greatly…Down 20 points midway through the third quarter, Jim Caldwell actually attempted a field goal from Tennessee’s 5-yard line. Truly hilarious.

This article about capturing Bin Laden is a bit old and lengthy but also well worth your time to read.

Matty “icepack” Stafford shook off his injuries and was impressive in Week 8, getting 8.9 YPA with a 3:0 TD:INT ratio. Maurice Morris actually scored from the 1-yard line, but that was more exception than rule, and the team’s glaring lack of rushing ability, especially from inside the 10, really is a boon to Stafford’s fantasy value…I overrated Demaryius Thomas’ targets last week. No Broncos receiver is likely to be even close to a consistent fantasy option moving forward with Tim Tebow at QB…I wouldn’t give up on Tebow in fantasy terms, but wow has he been terrible. During the Sunday night pregame show on NBC, Rodney Harrison defended him by saying how Denver’s offensive line allowed so many sacks, which was laughable and revealed a shockingly (well, more like mildly surprising) low football IQ for a former player. This is the same O-line that allowed four sacks over Kyle Orton’s last four games, after all. Tebow has taken 13 over his two starts. To not give him responsibility is a joke…Calvin Johnson has the most receiving touchdowns through eight games than any player since the merger.

I guess I’d be remiss if I didn’t pass along this video about how we are supposedly going to be living in the future.

Fred Jackson will battle Cam Newton as this year’s best fantasy pick, as the former continues to impress. As someone who will be approaching 32 years old entering next season, he’ll be one of the most interesting players to rank…John Beck has appeared in eight games during his career and has thrown for two touchdowns while committing 12 turnovers (although in fairness, he has ran in three scores)…I’d love to call Ryan Torain a buy-low candidate, but two of his next three opponents (SF and DAL) rank as top-five defenses when it comes to allowing fantasy points to opposing running backs this season…The Bills entered Sunday with an NFL-low four sacks on the season. They recorded nine against a Redskins offense that increasingly looks like one of the worst in football.

This is actually really intense.

I get that USC was a sinking ship and he knew it, at least lawfully, but long-term, it’s pretty clear Pete Carroll made a poor decision to leave for Seattle (although no one can blame him financially)…Pacman Jones’ first play of the 2011 season resulted in a 63-yard punt return. Naturally, he was injured on the play and never returned…Can someone explain to me why if Tarvaris Jackson was capable of playing, why he didn’t start over Charlie Whitehurst?…Before calling a run play on 4th-and-2 from the 3-yard line (that picked up a first down yet didn’t score) with 14 seconds left in the first half, the Seahawks called their final timeout. You can’t make this stuff up. Then again, this is the same team that punted on 4th-and-4 from the Bengals’ 36, netting 16 yards in the process…The Bengals have scored a defensive touchdown with less than 2:30 minutes left in each of their past three games. And if you factor in Sunday’s punt return, their fantasy defense has scored a total of four TDs with less than 3:30 left in each of their past three contests.

Florida trooper pulls over Miami officer for going 120 mph.

While I’ve killed the recent running back contracts of DeAngelo Williams and Chris Johnson, it’s at least worth pointing out it’s worked out for the 49ers, who somehow find themselves contenders thanks to a strong defense and special teams, with Frank Gore being the centerpiece of an otherwise ordinary offense. Gore isn’t the biggest, strongest, quickest or fastest back in the league, but his patience and vision make him one of the NFL’s elite at the position, although his shelf life is on an egg timer…Cleveland has scored a total of three points in the first quarter this season…San Francisco completed a pass to both an offensive and defensive tackle Sunday…The Browns punted down 14 points on 4-and-2 from the 49ers’ 39-yard line…Rookie Aldon Smith’s seven sacks are tied for the sixth-most in the NFL, and he’s done so while only playing 232 snaps. For perspective, DeMarcus Ware has played 438 snaps this year.

This plane carrying 230 passengers had to land without any wheels.

I’m beginning to think Chad Ochocinco isn’t going to make an impact in New England…I wasn’t aware Kevin Faulk was alive, let alone still in the league. Dude is 35 and averaged 5.3 YPC against a defense that otherwise dominated in his first game since Week 2 in 2010…Patrick Chung is going to be an IDP stud…I like Antonio Brown, and it was great to see him get 15 looks, but his 4.5 yards-per-target mark left a whole lot to be desired. Still, he actually has six more targets than Mike Wallace this season…Rashard Mendenhall isn’t Chris Johnson status, but he’s not that far off when it comes to healthy busts this season.

Huge silicone breast saves woman from knife attack.

So that’s what the Eagles are capable of. I must say, I didn’t see that total annihilation coming…How does Laurent Robinson finish with more yards than Miles Austin, Dez Bryant and Jason Witten combined?…Don’t let the game situation fool you, DeMarco Murray impressed again. He really should be given the opportunity to act as the team’s lead back even after Felix Jones returns…The injury to Sean Lee could prove significant for the Cowboys…Especially for someone who doesn’t dominate goal-line carries, pretty remarkable LeSean McCoy has scored in every game this season. He’s on pace to finish with 23 touchdowns.

This guy was unhappy with how his toe to hand transplant surgery went.

This guy drove his Honda Accord one million miles.

Only the Chargers could lose a game in such a way. Maybe Philip Rivers had money on San Diego, because his fumbled snap was the best (only?) way they could cover the spread at that point…First, Kansas City made the mistake of not using its timeouts before the two minute warning when the Chargers were just running out the clock in the fourth quarter, then San Diego returned the favor by calling one when the Chiefs appeared content to just go into overtime, nearly giving KC the chance at a last second FG. A comedy of errors…Marcus McNeill committed six penalties and allowed a sack Monday – not his best game…Jonathan Baldwin looked pretty good, as he’s going to be a weapon with his size. Steve Breaston no longer looks usable in fantasy leagues…Ryan Mathews is not only in a terrific situation, but I maintain he’s a very good back in his own right. Having said that, he’s officially one of the more brittle players in football. I’m pretty discouraged at this point.

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By Dalton Del Don

Last week I went 8-5, also winning my best bet. I’m 52-47-4 so far this year. Best bet is 3-3-1. Onto the Week 8 picks:

Saints -14 at RAMS

DOLPHINS +10 at Giants

Cardinals +13 at RAVENS

Vikings +3 at PANTHERS (Best Bet)

COLTS +9 at Titans

JAGUARS +10 at Texans

LIONS -3 at Broncos

REDSKINS +6 at Bills

Bengals -3 at SEAHAWKS

Browns +9 at 49ers

PATRIOTS -2.5 at Steelers

COWBOYS +3 at Eagles

CHARGERS -3.5 at Chiefs

Comments: Carolina’s defense is suspect, but I like them at home against an inferior Minnesota team this week. My teaser for the week is the Giants (I got them at -9.5 in Vegas) and 49ers. Obviously, I brought them both down seven points.

By Dalton Del Don

In one of the worst slates in recent memory, I expected the Falcons vs. Lions to be one of the better matchups in Week 7, but even that ended up being pretty ugly. Matthew Stafford has a 16:4 TD:INT ratio on the year, but while he’s limited turnovers recently, he’s gotten just 5.8 YPA over the past two weeks, giving him a 7.1 mark on the season – that number isn’t terrible on the surface, but when you factor in the current passing numbers in today’s NFL (it comes in as 17th best right now), him playing six of seven games in a dome this year and having Calvin Johnson as a teammate, he hasn’t been all that great. Although in his defense, the Lions might have the worst running game in the NFL…Matt Ryan has thrown for multiple touchdowns in just one of seven games this season. He’s yet to get 7.5 YPA in a contest…Michael Turner’s demise may have been a bit overstated, as he currently leads the NFL with 26 broken tackles…Pretty crazy the Jerome Harrison trade almost certainly saved his life.

This commercial isn’t exactly what I’d call PC.

Brandon Marshall has had numerous inexcusable drops, but he’s also had to face the Browns, Chargers, Jets (whom rank as three of the four best fantasy defenses against wide receivers so far this year) and Broncos (when Champ Bailey returned) the last four weeks. Even with Matt Moore – buy. Despite that, he’s still on pace to finish with 91 catches and 1,288 yards…Even without Brandon Lloyd, it looks like Eric Decker owners may be out of luck. Demaryius Thomas, while hardly a sure thing, looks like the Broncos’ preferred WR from here on out, as he was clearly Tim Tebow’s No. 1 target Sunday…Speaking of Tebow, at this point, what more can be said? The dude writes his own scripts. After going 4-for-14 for 46 passing yards over his first 11 drives, he decided to stop messing around and went 9-for-13 for 121 yards with two touchdowns over his final two drives in regulation (h/t ESPNStatsInfo). Also, on a game-on-the-line two-point conversation attempt with possibly the most inaccurate/best running QB in the NFL from the 2-yard line, might want to put a linebacker on him Miami. Not having their goal-line defense on the field in that situation is embarrassing.

Great announcer involved in a crazy set of events.

I can’t say I’m shocked the Texans won in Tennessee on Sunday, but I was rather surprised by the final score. This team may finally be getting it. Arian Foster’s breakaway speed on his 78-yard TD catch was sick, if a bit unexpected. I’d take him No. 1 overall in a redraft today…Ben Tate somehow has the 15th most carries in football so far this season…I’m beginning to think Matt Hasselbeck may miss Kenny Britt. Seriously, that performance was downright ugly coming off a bye against a defense that was missing Mario Williams and had Danieal Manning leave early with a broken leg…Chris Johnson, at least to me, is a true buy-low candidate, because I personally think it would take some guts to trade for him right now. He looks noticeably slower than ever, and while Tennessee’s run blocking has been bad, Javon Ringer looked superior whenever he entered the game last week. Johnson has got 1.9 YPC after contact this season, which ranks 53rd among running backs. But at least it hasn’t shaken his confidence: “Basically, if you are watching the game and you really can’t tell what is going on with the run game then I would say you really don’t know football,” Johnson said. “I wouldn’t say I am the issue.” Either way, his fantasy owners aren’t happy.

Worst liquor store robbery ever.

After posting a 15:1 TD:INT ratio over the final eight games of his sophomore season last year, Josh Freeman has an NFL-high 10 interceptions in 2011. His 6.4 YPA is also pretty pathetic, so he’s taken a major step back…Tough break for Earnest Graham owners. In fact, what a ridiculous week for running back injuries, also including Darren McFadden, Beanie Wells, Willis McGahee, Marshawn Lynch and Tim Hightower…Matt Forte’s touchdown upside is limited (thanks to his poor execution at the goal line throughout his career and now Marion Barber’s presence), but he’s currently on pace to finish with 2,494 yards from scrimmage, which would rank as the second-most all-time…Mike Williams remains a big disappointment, but his 60 targets rank as the fifth-highest in the NFL this year (although his six drops also rank as the second most, with only Brandon Marshall having more).

I’m not sure what’s crazier, the makeup job here or the tats.

The Seattle/Cleveland game set football back a good 30 years, although in fairness both teams’ defenses played pretty well. Although you have to work hard to score just six points while possessing the ball for 43 minutes like the Browns did Sunday…Relying on Marshawn Lynch is tough enough to begin with, but it doesn’t get much worse than not playing without any reports suggesting it was even a possibility beforehand. If you’re in a deep league, might as well add Leon Washington…I still like Greg Little as a WR3 for fantasy purposes moving forward…Tarvaris Jackson obviously sucks, but he’s better than Charlie Whitehurst. And Joe Haden’s return certainly contributed to Sidney Rice’s poor performance Sunday…Montario Hardesty’s 117 yards from scrimmage were nice, and it came against arguably (although I’m tired of calling them “surprisingly” at this point) the NFL’s best run defense, but it took a whopping 33 rushing attempts, as he simply hasn’t shown the ability to make defenders miss at the NFL level.

This guy ate a live giant scorpion just for fun.

At what point would it take the Chargers to further outperform their end results to get Norv Turner fired? I mean seriously, how long can this charade go? Frankly, it’s become beyond comical. At this point, no one should ever be throwing their hands up in the air and declaring how San Diego “should have won that game.” Even with Sunday’s latest example, realize they were also spotted a 7-0 lead on a “fluke” defensive TD…Not that Philip Rivers doesn’t deserve plenty of blame this season. His YPA and completion percentage remain high, but after posting a 30:13 TD:INT ratio last season (without Vincent Jackson and Antonio Gates for a significant amount of time), he’s totaled eight TDs while committing 11 turnovers through six games. Rivers hadn’t been picked off in his previous 100 throws in the fourth quarter before Sunday, when he was intercepted twice in the final frame and executed one of the worst two-minute drills you’ll ever see…Without question, one of my bigger fantasy disappointments this year has been Santonio Holmes. I expected so much more…I have no proof, but I’d imagine few players have ever managed just 6.3 yards-per-catch with three touchdowns like Plaxico Burress did Sunday…The Jets’ blocking was better, but I’d never seen Shonn Greene run as well as he did in Week 7. Maybe there’s hope for him after all…Quietly, Mark Sanchez has been a top-10 fantasy QB so far this season.

Parking like a boss.

Like clockwork, Coldplay’s new album is sugary sweet, not for music elitists, yet also has 4-6 songs that are legitimately catchy. I get they are easy to make fun of, but there isn’t a band more consistent (and more predictable) in the world. Their new album won’t sniff my top-5 for 2011, but I’d also suggest music snobs shouldn’t be totally dismissive.

Mike Shanahan was at it again Sunday, as I’d imagine far more fantasy owners started Ryan Torain than Tim Hightower, something I personally supported. While it didn’t work in Week 7, and Roy Helu may become a bigger factor, Torain owners still ultimately ended up with a big upgrade after Hightower was lost for the season with a torn ACL…The most rushing touchdowns by a QB since the merger was 12 (by Steve Crogan in 1976), with just two total reaching double digits. Cam Newton is on pace to finish with 16 during his rookie campaign. Oh, and also 4,807 passing yards, which would be the fourth most in NFL history. His rookie season has been pretty special, and fantasy wise, it’s been positively transcendental.

I have no clue why these two people are single. This is the best date ever.

Larry Fitzgerald has averaged 84.2 yards per game this season compared to 71.1 last year, but he’s also on pace to finish with 83 receptions and five touchdowns – both lower than last season’s disappointing numbers. So much for Kevin Kolb returning him to top-three fantasy WR status…It’s become a weekly joke about how badly Ben Roethlisberger had his knee turned or was hit or whatever. Let’s stop kidding ourselves. The guy is indestructible. A prison sentence or the Supervolcano is far more likely to be the cause of him missing a game than an injury…Speaking of injuries, Beanie Wells hurt yet again, ugh!…The Steelers have forced the fewest takeaways over the first seven games of a season since the merger (h/t Bill Barnwell)…Mike Wallace has got 14.3 yards-per-target this season, which I believe would go down as the best mark in NFL history.

I’m someone who still loves roller coasters, so make of this what you will, but if I lived in New York, I’d absolutely go to this Haunted House (tangent: in college, I tagged along with a few friends who had heard good things about this Haunted House in SLO, only when inside they locked the doors and it was a religious cult that preached for at least an hour. I guess ultimately the job was done, because believe me, I was “terrified” by the events at hand). I mean, just look at the rules. Tickets cost $40-60 (depending on the time you attend), and I especially love how you must be prepared to put something unknown in your mouth and how there’s a “safe word.” Sign me up!

Darren McFadden’s foot sprain is reportedly minor, but to me I’d rather a knee or hamstring injury. I hope I’m wrong…The Raiders and Chiefs combined for a 0:8 TD:INT ratio Sunday. That it came with just one total sack against two secondaries that rank in the bottom half of the NFL makes it all the more crazy. The bye week couldn’t come at a better time for Oakland…After starting the year 0-3 and being outscored 109-27 in the process, the Chiefs have rebounded by winning their last three contests by a combined score of 78-41…In Yahoo’s box score, their “top performer” on the day had one carry for seven yards.

Dirt bike lands on a “chick.”

Dallas’ defense by all means played well, but fantasy owners might feel a little disappointed with just one sack and two turnovers at home against a Rams offense that has averaged an NFL-low 9.3 points per game while starting A.J. Feeley…Through six games, the Rams have had a lead for a total of just six minutes and 28 seconds (h/t Bill Barnwell)…Brandon Lloyd received 12 targets immediately upon joining St. Louis and should see a nice increase in fantasy value down the stretch. He’ll no doubt be tougher to trade for now than he was 10 days ago, but there’s also a good chance his value will never be lower from this point moving forward…It’s tempting to not want to get overly excited with just one game (in ideal conditions), but it’s even harder not to be thoroughly impressed with DeMarco Murray, who had the type of performance Sunday that could lead to him being Dallas’ feature back from here on out. Felix Jones even when healthy has always been better in theory than reality, and while he’s hasn’t been able to exploit it, a lead runner in that situation could be quite productive. Murray, while still needing work as a blocker and receiver, could finally be the one to take advantage of it. He’s a must-start this week in Philadelphia. Realize his 3.6 YPC after contact this season ranks as the third-most in the NFL. He could be a true difference maker down the stretch.

The worst (best?) obituary of all-time.

Man who tried to turn his feces into gold is jailed.

Aaron Rodgers’ current 9.93 YPA mark would go down as the best in NFL history (since the merger), and he’s also totaled 21 touchdowns to just three turnovers. With a suspect pass defense, the league’s best passing attack that utilizes spread formations and terrific team speed yet with a shaky rushing attack, the Packers are actually best built to play in a dome, and ironically, poor weather late in the year in Lambaugh Field would actually do this group a huge disservice. They might be more vulnerable playing a home NFC title game than one in a controlled environment. The current Super Bowl odds are the NFC -3…Well, that’s not good…After something of a down year last season, Jared Allen has 10 sacks over his past five games, as he’s been an absolute beast.

If you’re into levitation and/or hover boards, watch these two clips. The future is upon us.

New Orleans’ 62 points scored tied for the most since the merger. Drew Brees had more touchdowns (five) than incompletions (four)…Seriously, how important is Peyton Manning?!!…Darren Sproles is somehow averaging more yards-per-carry (7.4) than he is yards-per-catch (7.3). What a fantastic season he’s having…Why, exactly did Joseph Addai return earlier than expected?…The funny thing about Reggie Wayne’s season is that he’s actually averaging his most yards-per-catch since 2007.

Two stories well worth reading, the first about overconfidence, which absolutely has relevance with fantasy sports (and the title is a clear shot at Malcolm Gladwell) and the second about the anatomy of a baseball trade.

What an ugly Monday night game. It’s almost as if the scheduling had something to do with it. Still not quite sure how Jacksonville went from having a historically bad secondary last year that allowed 8.3 YPA to one this season that has yielded just 6.4. A remarkable difference, especially without a ton of personnel change…What was up with Ray Rice and Maurice Jones-Drew’s fumbling problems? That was crazy…Joe Flacco has produced two games with a QB rating higher than 103.5 this season, and three others with less than 61.0. So inconsistent.

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By Dalton Del Don

Last week I went 7-4-2, also winning my best bet. I’m 44-42-4 so far this year. Best bet is 2-3-1. Onto the Week 7 picks:

Chargers -1.5 at JETS (Best Bet)

Seahawks +2.5 at BROWNS

Falcons +3.5 at LIONS

Redskins +2 at PANTHERS

BEARS pick ‘em vs. Buccaneers

Broncos +1 at DOLPHINS

Texans +3 at TITANS

STEELERS -3.5 at Cardinals

Chiefs +4.5 at RAIDERS

Packers -9 at VIKINGS

Rams +12.5 at COWBOYS

COLTS +14 at Saints

Ravens -8.5 at JAGUARS

Comments: Don’t feel all that great about my “best bet” this week, and for whatever it’s worth, I ended up taking 10 home teams (compared to just two true road teams). No teaser this week; instead, I took a moneyline parlay with the Packers, Cowboys, Saints and Ravens.

By Dalton Del Don

Pretty crazy to get outscored 24-3 while gaining 25 more yards than their opponent like the Rams did Sunday. With the arrival of Brandon Lloyd (seriously, how ridiculous are NFL trades?), it was especially bad timing for Sam Bradford to suffer a high-ankle sprain…Jermichael Finley could explode at any moment and still needs to be viewed as a top-five fantasy tight end, but playing in such a terrific offense has actually hampered his production, as Aaron Rodgers continues to spread the wealth. Rodgers’ favorite receiver is the one he deems has the biggest mismatch on a given play, and Finley, who has finally been able to stay healthy, is on pace to finish with a modest 856 yards as a result, and he’s scored in just one of six games this season (albeit three times in that contest)…Jordy Nelson has averaged 57.5 yards per touchdown catch this season (and that’s with one of them being from three yards out!)…Rodgers is the first passer ever to post a QB rating of 110 or higher in six straight games.

Snoop Dogg is obsessed with the world’s largest turnip. This clip killed me.

Eli Manning owners have to be extremely frustrated, as he played a fantastic game Sunday only to see Ahmad Bradshaw cipher three touchdowns from the 1-yard line. Manning, who has yet to play a game indoors this season, enters his bye with a 9.1 YPA mark…I bet I was the only one to rank Fred Jackson ahead of Steven Jackson in the preseason (as seen in RW’s magazine), but believe me, this is more venting than bragging, as despite that, my cowardice ultimately won out, as he somehow ended up on just one of my (far too many) teams (although luckily, it’s a high stakes NFFC league). He’s easily been the best running back in football so far this season. Not only has he broken the most tackles in the league by far, but Pro Football Focus also grades him as the best blocking back (tied with Bradshaw)…Not only has Hakeem Nicks not dropped a single pass this year, but his seven broken tackles are also tied for the NFL lead.

Man fakes police brutality to get out of speeding ticket.

I killed Dallas Clark last week, but that was a sick one-handed catch he made in the end zone Sunday. Maybe his fantasy value isn’t toast after all…That’s back-to-back weeks the Bengals have scored a defensive touchdown in the final minutes of a game, and for that my fantasy teams thank you…Pat Angerer currently has 73 tackles – the next closest in football is teammate Kavell Conner with 58. Angerer is on pace to finish with 195 tackles. That’s a lot.

This is one of the better hockey fights I’ve seen, highlighted by the “nighty night” antics afterward.

Roddy White owners have to be extremely disappointed with his Week 6 production in a favorable matchup without Julio Jones playing but realize he drew numerous pass interference calls that prevented him from having a big fantasy game. Still, Matt Ryan’s lack of development combined with the return of Jones and the team’s success when relying on the run leaves White’s upside lacking…An NFL-high five passes intended for Steve Smith this season have been intercepted, and while some of that blame surely falls on Cam Newton, Sunday’s pick also revealed another reason why – Smith isn’t very good at becoming a “defender” on passes he’s not going to catch…I’m still looking for an explanation why Carolina spent all that money on DeAngelo Williams when they had Jonathan Stewart.

Man uses his 9-year-old daughter as his designated driver.

Not only do the 49ers look all but certain to have a home game in the playoffs, but they also might even have a bye (they still have five games remaining against the NFC West) – an unimaginable scenario entering the year. As a fan, I’m excited for the first time in years, but while the defense is legit, and the special teams is performing at a historical level through six weeks, it’s pretty easy to acknowledge the lack of a star at QB limits the upside come postseason. As much as I like to see Alex Smith improve, he’s not good enough to win a Super Bowl…And to think, they will be getting Braylon Edwards back soon!…I love Frank Gore, but it’s clear he’s lost a step after getting caught from behind twice Sunday…In a 3-4 base defense, Pro Football Focus currently grades Justin Smith and Ray McDonald as the top two defensive ends, Patrick Willis and Navorro Brown as the No. 2 and No. 5 inside linebackers and Carlos Rogers as the No. 1 cornerback (slightly ahead of Darrelle Revis). Rookie Aldon Smith has also racked up 5.5 sacks over the past three games while only playing situationally…Two huge coaching gaffes (during the game, that is) Sunday. Jim Harbaugh throwing a challenge flag on a scoring play (resulting in a penalty), and Jim Schwartz going for two with the score 19-15 with 14 minutes left (seriously mind boggling). As for the after game scuffle, even as an SF fan, I can easily see why a coach would be upset by Harbaugh’s behavior, although Schwartz in particular maybe should have let it go (exhibit A and exhibit B). Frankly, while admittedly way overblown in the media, I thought the incident was pretty damn funny. But come on, if those two really did fight, how badly would Harbaugh destroy Schwartz?!

This penguin has chosen a life of crime.

Fred Davis has been inconsistent this year, but in the three games in which Chris Cooley has been inactive, left early because of injury or been limited, he’s racked up 17 catches for 286 yards with a touchdown. Cooley is out indefinitely with a finger injury, and after he exited Sunday’s game, Davis was involved heavily, seeing 11 targets. Davis took responsibility for two of Rex Grossman’s four interceptions, but he’s physically gifted and will be given a ton of opportunities moving forward…Well, that was quite an inauspicious start to Vince Young’s tenure in Philly…Watch LeSean McCoy assault Andy Reid…Ryan Torain owners have to be disappointed considering how the Eagles’ run defense had played this year, but it was a jail break every time he touched the ball Sunday. Injuries to Washington’s offensive line and the score had a lot more to do with his poor performance than anything else. Barring health, I remain bullish moving forward.

I watched “Drive” this weekend, and it was easily my favorite movie of the year so far. In fact, no other has been even close.

McDonald’s cashier caught on video beating unruly customers.

Up 17-0 with 11 minutes left in the second quarter, it’s safe to say I didn’t expect the Steelers to win 17-13. The Jaguars’ defense is sneaky good…Rashard Mendenhall finally showed a pulse Sunday, rushing for 146 yards and a touchdown on 23 carries, returning from a hamstring injury while busting out of a season long slump in the process. Jacksonville isn’t any good, but its defense is the team’s strength, so it wasn’t against an easy opponent either. The opportunity to buy low has likely come and gone.

The baseball playoffs have been pretty awesome this year, but as someone who had a lot invested in the Brewers, Sunday’s loss was absolutely devastating. I was genuinely depressed. Let’s just say Tony LaRussa used his bullpen slightly better than Ron Roenicke. And while I knew Shaun Marcum was toast at that point, and despite the team’s UZR in the regular season, the defense was going to be a problem, I was ultimately disappointed in Zack Greinke (one swing and miss with no strikeouts?).

Las Vegas man with 100-pound scrotum seeks money for surgery.

Greg Little took advantage of his move into the starting lineup, catching six passes for 72 yards, although he lost a sure touchdown by tripping over his own feet with no defender near him at the 1-yard line. Little saw 12 targets, so he’s now a big part of Cleveland’s offense and clearly the team’s No. 1 option in the passing attack. Despite having just 20 receptions on the year, Little is tied for the NFL lead among wide receivers with seven broken tackles. The second round pick looks like a WR3 for fantasy purposes moving forward…Owner Mike Brown is stubborn, but he’d also have to be crazy to turn down the trade offered by the Raiders. Oakland sent a first and second (could become another first, although highly unlikely) round pick in order to acquire Palmer, and while it’s obviously a steep price (especially considering how cost controlled those top picks are now), it’s nice to see a team be so aggressive. The move was made thanks to Jason Campbell’s collarbone injury, and the team’s subsequent (rightfully so) lack of faith in Kyle Boller. It’s unclear what kind of shape Palmer is in, but at least he’s familiar with Hue Jackson’s offense. The former No. 1 overall pick’s play has fallen off over the past few seasons, but he did produce 50 touchdowns over the last two years, and it’s easy to forget he’s still just 31 years old. The signing is good news for Darren McFadden and especially Darrius Heyward-Bey owners. Also, Oakland’s odds to win the Super Bowl moved from 40/1 to 30/1 after the trade…For all the Raiders’ criticism with trades and draft picks, not only is it worth pointing out McFadden has become a top-five running back and DHB is emerging, but PFF has graded Richard Seymour as easily the top defensive tackle in the NFL this season (he finished No. 9 last year). That’s obviously worth whatever draft pick they gave up.

Pretty remarkable this guy survived a 900-foot fall after his parachute failed to open.

This news just made my day.

Arian Foster had a couple of bad drops, but his 11 targets tied Darren Sproles for the league-lead by running backs in Week 6. Although it was concerning for Foster owners seeing Ben Tate get nine carries to Foster’s 15…The Ravens have allowed a 65.9 QB rating to opposing passers along with a 3.3 YPC against mark with just one rushing score this season. This looks like the best defense in football.

This machine will shred anything.

Crazy sick pass by Rajon Rondo.

Although he didn’t play well Sunday, Drew Brees became the first quarterback in NFL history to throw for 350-plus yards in four straight games. Seriously, how many passing records are going to be set in 2011?…Nice to see Tampa Bay’s passing attack show a pulse, but Mike Williams owners are still left wanting (a lot) more…Darren Sproles is on pace to finish with 72 rushing attempts this season. And 1,363 yards from scrimmage.

Young woman ages 50 years in a matter of days.

New iPhone app may have ended a marriage.

Aaron Hernandez hauled in eight catches for 68 yards and a touchdown Sunday, and while he also lost a fumble (unbelievably, it was the Pats’ first fumble in 389 plays this season), his 14 targets tied for the most among tight ends with Brandon Pettigrew in Week 6. Hernandez is on a 16-game pace to finish with 108 receptions for 1,156 yards and 12 touchdowns. He’s the No. 2 option in arguably the best passing attack in the NFL. Only Jimmy Graham should be ranked ahead of him among fantasy tight ends, and it’s not particularly close…I admit I fell for the Felix Jones preseason hype, but it should surprise no one he’s once again injured, this time with a high-ankle sprain that will cost him multiple weeks. Jones’ YPC has fallen each year he’s been in the NFL, bottoming out at 4.0 this season. He’s reached 100 yards rushing in two of his 41 career games played. DeMarco Murray is the obvious beneficiary while Jones is sidelined…Dez Bryant has been held catchless in the second half in three of four games this season…The Cowboys have allowed 6.8 YPA while recording 16 sacks over just five games, while also yielding 3.3 YPC as the only team in football yet to allow a 20-yard rush this season. Their scoring against is also skewed thanks to two INTs returned for touchdowns in the Lions game, and they just held the Patriots to fewer than 30 points for the first time in 14 games (while in New England). In fact, the Pats had scored just 13 points until 22 seconds were left. This Dallas defense is legit.

This marketing ploy is pretty cool.

My friend has made some shirts for you S.F. fans, so buy accordingly. Seriously, the Tim Lincecum F bombs is quite clever. Also, Harbaugh should be considered God like at this point – the man is a deity.

Donovan McNabb has obviously “lost his fastball,” and I really have no problem with playing a rookie in order to assess the future, but it’s clear Minnesota is a worse team with Christian Ponder under center. Not that it should matter short-term to the franchise, but it’s also unclear if this could hurt his development, as Ponder looked overmatched in the preseason…Seriously, how much of a travesty was it that Jay Cutler’s girl Kristin Cavallari was voted off “Dancing With The Stars” so early?! I’m beginning to think straight men aren’t their target audience.

These two went next level with their sex life.

Funny tip left by a math nerd.

Brandon Marshall versus Darrelle Revis was one of the rare one-on-one matchups in the NFL that took over a game. I loved seeing two highly competitive players going at it like that, trying to salvage an otherwise unwatchable game in primetime. Pass interference could have been called on Revis’ sick 100-yard INT return for a TD, and Marshall had the disadvantage of Matt Moore throwing him the ball, but his drops remain a serious concern. His six are tied for the NFL “lead” with Mike Williams (TB)…And speaking of Revis, according to Pro Football Focus, QBs currently have a rating of 4.9 when throwing into his coverage. The next best corner is Jonathan Joseph at 47.0. After about a dozen or so quarterbacks are off the board, if starting a franchise, I’d take Revis and Calvin Johnson next (followed by about another dozen linemen)…I expected a lot more out of Santonio Holmes this year…If Shonn Green broke tackles like he did this ref, he’d be a lot better running back.

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By Dalton Del Don

Last week I went 6-7, once again losing my best bet after jumping out to a huge lead (17-0). I’m 37-38-2 so far this year. Best bet is 1-3-1. Onto the Week 6 picks:

PANTHERS +3.5 at Falcons

49ers +4 at Lions

Colts +7 at BENGALS

EAGLES -1 at Redskins

Rams +15 at PACKERS

Jaguars +12.5 at STEELERS

Bills +3 at GIANTS

Browns +7 at RAIDERS

TEXANS +8 at Ravens

SAINTS -4.5 at Buccaneers

COWBOYS +7 at Patriots

Vikings +2.5 at BEARS (Best Bet)

Dolphins +7.5 at JETS

Comments: I hate taking nine favorites, but I’m not switching any single game just because of that fact. I must admit though, I worry I’ve switched from my previous strategy to going more “obvious” picks here, and not worrying about the public vs. sharps angle. I’ve clearly made a conscious choice to ignore the latter with these picks. Also, two people I respect think the Bears line is one of the worst/craziest ever, and while I made them my best bet, I’m kind of on the fence there. And to be fair, I’ll give my teaser of the week – Raiders and Jets.

By Dalton Del Don

Pregame reports suggested Ben Roethlisberger could barely walk onto the field while the rest of his teammates sprinted on, so naturally, he proceeds to throw five touchdowns against a secondary that had been playing at a very high level. Despite taking a constant beating, I’d give Big Ben about even odds the chances he misses his next game is due to suspension (for obvious reasons) rather than injury…The Steelers/Titans game wasn’t great, but it did feature the photo of the week.

Mountain biker gets taken out by buck.

As someone who started the Bengals in a few leagues, the ridiculous defensive touchdown on the final play of the game thanks to multiple laterals was a thing of beauty…Despite playing at least 83 fewer snaps than any of the four receivers listed above him, Mike Thomas has the fifth most targets in the NFL this season with 44…A.J. Green has committed by far the most penalties among wide receivers this year (five), but it’s hard not to consider him one of the brightest rising stars in the game.

Pimp of the Year (one of my favorite clips from one of the most underrated comedies of all-time).

There’s some concern Darren Sproles will eventually wear down with this kind of usage, but he’s actually averaged just 5.2 rushing attempts per game, and whether true or not, studies have shown receptions have less consequences on the body. He may only be 5-6, but he’s also 190, which isn’t exactly Dexter McCluster (170) territory. Sproles has always had a ton of talent as a third-down back, but he’s being utilized better than ever, and playing home games on turf highlights his quickness, which might be second to none in the NFL. Despite having just the 44th most rushing attempts among all backs, Sproles is on pace to finish with 1,437 yards from scrimmage and has been an absolute monster in PPR formats. I certainly didn’t expect him to be the most valuable of the three Saints’ running backs…Cam Newton has 13 carries inside the 10 yard line this season. DeAngelo Williams and Jonathan Stewart have a combined three…Can someone explain to me why the Panthers called a timeout on defense at the end of the first half to allow the Saints to kick a field goal?

Probably the craziest picture I’ve ever seen.

Darrius Heyward-Bey has racked up 214 receiving yards and a touchdown over the past two games, and while he’s showed promise before only to disappear shortly thereafter, it’s telling he saw a whopping 19 targets over that span. He was quite raw coming out of Maryland, so it’s no surprise it’s taken him a few years to get acclimated to the NFL. The Raiders are a run-heavy team, and talented rookie Denarius Moore could threaten to become the team’s WR1, but DHB is finally relevant in fantasy leagues. His upcoming schedule against a Browns secondary possibly without Joe Haden, followed by Kansas City and then Denver, looks enticing…I’m a Hue Jackson fan – he’s uncommonly aggressive, and I loved the emotion he showed at the end of the game, but going for two (in a 14-12 game) with 1:09 left in the first half was way too early. This looked bad at the time and even worse when the Raiders had a 25-17 lead in the fourth quarter…Arian Foster owners can be disappointed with 68 rushing yards on 22 carries against an Oakland defense that entered allowing an NFL-high 5.9 YPC, but the Raiders clearly adjusted and sold out to stop the run (especially with no AJ), and obviously, it’s tough to complain about Foster’s 116 receiving yards…Pretty crazy that Oakland made that stop on the final play of the game with just 10 defenders on the field.

This article about the Red Sox’s collapse is fascinating, albeit not for the author’s intended reasons. What an embarrassing piece of journalism (and this coming from someone who has little standards).

I had the Eagles as part of a parlay last week, and I deserved to lose. I do think they are better than they’ve played (obviously) and would once again take them against Washington this week, even as a pick ‘em at 1-4 on the road facing a 3-1 team coming off a bye, but they aren’t a team with terrific peripherals that their record doesn’t reflect (like San Diego last year). Advanced stats (like Brian Burke, Football Outsiders, etc.) had them as heavy dogs against the Bills, so shame on me for ignoring that (or not? I mean seriously, it was all crazy turnovers that are historically random. Ugh)…David Nelson has just three receptions for 24 yards over his past two contests. The loss of Donald Jones for 4-to-6 weeks with an ankle injury could theoretically result in more targets, but in reality it moves Nelson from the slot (an important position in a Chan Gailey offense) to the outside, which might not be the best fit. Take a wait-and-see approach here…Got to love Andy Reid (and by that I mean loathe if you bet on Philly), as he decided to punt Sunday on 4th-and-4 down 14 points at Buffalo’s 37 yard line. Naturally, it resulted in a touchback. But that pales in comparison to the indiscipline it takes to have his team jump offsides (coming off a timeout) on 4th-and-1 down 31-24 at midfield with 1:23 left, when the Bills clearly had no intention of ever snapping the ball, effectively ending the game…Fred Jackson has broken 23 tackles this year. The next highest is Adrian Peterson with 17.

Pretty sick goal.

The Cardinals were down 28-0 at the end of the first quarter. Even the Vikings couldn’t blow that lead in the second half…Donovan McNabb might not be the only quarterback Andy Reid recently sold high on, as Kevin Kolb’s hot start with his new team in Arizona has quickly turned south. He’s gotten 7.4 YPA, which is just OK in today’s NFL and not good when combined with a 5:9 TD:turnover ratio over five games. He’s also taken 16 sacks and committed the most penalties among quarterbacks with four, all while having the benefit of one of the NFL’s best receivers at his disposal. It’s certainly too early to call Kolb a bust, but the early signs aren’t encouraging…Percy Harvin continues to be given more carries than any other receiver and his snaps are up since Week 1, but after a one-catch, 11-yard performance Sunday, his fantasy owners have to be fed up. In fact, Harvin is on pace to finish with just 58 catches for 586 yards and zero receiving scores. I wouldn’t recommend dropping Harvin by any means, but it’s becoming increasingly difficult to keep betting on his talent overcoming his situation…The Cardinals for some reason attempted a 51 yard field goal on 4th-and-6 down 28 points Sunday.

If this isn’t “indisputable evidence” of the existence of an Abominable Snowman, I don’t know what is.

Over the past two weeks, my “best bets” have cumulatively been up 44-3, and I’ve lost both, despite each spread being less than three points. That’s hard to do. My latest bitterness involves the Colts’ collapse…Jackie Battle entered last week as an undrafted 28-year-old back who had gotten just 3.0 YPC in his career, but he made the most of his newfound opportunity, totaling 140 yards on just 21 touches. The performance raised his career YPC nearly a full yard (3.9), which shows how little work he was previously given. Battle’s big game came against a Colts defense that has allowed the sixth-most fantasy points to opposing running backs this season, but Thomas Jones looks done, and Dexter McCluster struggles to break tackles, so he should continue to get the majority of touches in Kansas City’s backfield. Battle isn’t a special talent, and there’s no telling how he’ll hold up physically, but he’s obviously a must-add in all fantasy leagues with his new role…In deeper leagues, pick up Steve Breaston…Dallas Clark has just six catches for 65 yards over his last three games total, including three bad drops last week (he “leads” all tight ends with six this season). Remarkably, Pro Football Focus currently rates him last among 57 tight ends who qualify in the NFL. With him performing so poorly and no Peyton Manning, it’s a combination that’s resulted in zero fantasy value…Pierre Garcon has been the No. 1 fantasy WR since Curtis Painter took over as Indy’s QB, and while Painter can’t be expected to continue getting 9.1 YPA (with a 48.5 completion percentage!), it’s clear the two have a strong rapport. Garcon is simply the superior athlete to Reggie Wayne at this stage of their careers, and precise route running doesn’t matter as much without Peyton Manning calling the shots. With such a poor defense, the Colts should continue to have to keep airing it out as well. Garcon’s 11.8 YAC/reception currently leads all wide receivers by a wide margin (second-best is Victor Cruz with 9.3).

I finally saw “Moneyball” and surprisingly really liked it. Maybe my low expectations helped (and yes, there were aspects to complain about), but I thought the filmmakers did a terrific job with the material at hand.

Also, having Tim Allen make a lame fantasy football joke during an NFL broadcast is more than a little questionable – I can’t wait to see his new show canceled within five episodes.

Victor Cruz has totaled 17 catches for 369 yards and three touchdowns over the past three games, none of which he’s started. He’s badly outplayed Mario Manningham in the process, but the latter can’t be written off, and Hakeem Nicks remains the team’s WR1, so some regression can safely be expected, but no receiver can keep that kind of pace no matter his situation. Cruz is obviously talented and will remain a major part of the Giants’ offense moving forward, although his targets may not be there on a consistent basis. Still, with New York’s shaky defense, especially in the secondary, and the running game struggling, the team’s passing attack will continue to be relied upon heavily. Despite playing limited snaps, Cruz’s five broken tackles are tied for fifth-most in the NFL among wide receivers…R.I.P., most “survivor” teams that were alive in Week 5. And with Charlie Whitehurst playing a big role on the road, no less!…The Giants completed a pass downfield to Hakeem Nicks with 40 seconds left in the first half, and despite having all three timeouts left, elected to waste 11 seconds to re-gather and spike the ball. Huh?

An unexpected ending to a horse race, although not as funny as this one (the first suffered no life-threatening injuries, to be clear).

The 49ers are the only team yet to allow a rushing TD or a running back to reach 65 rushing yards in a game this season. As a San Francisco fan who picked the Rams to win the NFC West before the season, it’s pretty shocking to even consider them having a home playoff game (way, way too soon), but a 48-3 victory over any team (let alone one 3-1, even if they are a fraud) in the NFL is pretty impressive. Consider me shocked…Mike Williams has just 19 catches for 183 yards on the year, with as many fumbles lost as touchdowns (one). His 9.6 yards-per-catch is downright anemic, as the entire Bucs’ passing attack has taken a major step back this season. I’ve preached patience with Williams, but it’s hard not to be concerned at this point, and those with viable alternatives can bench him for now. It’s hard not to think of the Michael Clayton comparison. Still, while it’s easy to point out last year’s 11-TD, 65-catch ratio was unsustainable, Williams was a beast in the red zone as a rookie and would have likely been a first round pick if not for off-field issues – he’s clearly a talented player, fully capable of breaking out of this slump…Football Outsiders lists San Francisco with a 97.5% chance of making the playoffs. Green Bay is at 97.4%…For what it’s worth, Alex Smith had the highest “QBR” in Week 5.

Taking a squash ball at 175 mph looks painful.

After taking over for Kyle Orton on Sunday and since being named Denver’s starter, Tim Tebow is the obvious top waiver wire add entering Week 6. He’s gotten 8.0 YPA during his brief career, which is almost certainly unsustainable unless he greatly improves his 48.9 completion percentage. Of course, fantasy owners care more about his ability to run than his poor mechanics and unlikelihood to be an above average NFL quarterback. Tebow should get an extended opportunity to show what he can do, and his seven rushing touchdowns over 12 career appearances reveal quite a bit of fantasy upside. Brandon Lloyd and Eric Decker give him a couple of quality receiving options, and he now has a bye week to work with the starters in practice. The Broncos’ schedule also looks favorable moving forward, so Tebow should be considered a top-12 fantasy QB right now…Willis McGahee has improbably topped 100 rushing yards in three of the past four games, including a remarkable 7.4 YPC mark over the last two. The designated goal-line back for Denver even before taking over as the team’s starter, McGahee has just one rushing score on the year (two total), and that number is unlikely to increase greatly with Tebow taking over. Still, a healthy Knowshon Moreno didn’t receive a single carry last week, as McGahee looks rejuvenated at soon-to-be age 30…As a huge Ryan Mathews backer, I’m not sure whether to be encouraged he returned from an injury he almost certainly looked unlikely to, or be discouraged that he continues to battle maladies regularly. At least he has a bye week to heal.

Case of the unwanted enema remains unsolved, according to California police.

I’m sure you’ve all heard it by now, but it’s still one of the most mind blowing stats I’ve heard in quite some time. Tom Brady threw the first interception of his career at home in the red zone Sunday, as he previously held a 91:0 TD:INT ratio. And naturally, Aaron Hernandez should have caught a would-be touchdown on the play. Speaking of Hernandez, he was targeted heavily, drawing multiple pass interference penalties that made an otherwise OK fantasy day a lot less than it could’ve been. He should be treated as a top-five fantasy tight end from here on out…BenJarvus Green-Ellis is essentially having the same season as last year, at least yardage wise. He’s actually on pace to finish with 16 touchdowns…I can’t blame Darrelle Revis, more so the scheme, since he’s the best defender in football, but why he allowed Wes Welker to release to the safety on his 73-yard catch is beyond me…People seem down on the Jets, but I don’t get it – their three losses have come against the Raiders, Ravens and Patriots all on the road, and they have held opposing passers to just a 66.6 QB rating (second-lowest only to Baltimore). New York will be fine.

Lawmaker wants state to reinstate dwarf tossing.

I had an extremely successful season betting (almost exclusively with teasers) last year, and even in the beginning of 2011, but I’ve hit a snag recently, with Week 5 no exception. Not only the aforementioned parlay loss, but I went in on Atlanta +6, which I felt pretty good about when they took a 14-0 lead. I actually don’t like the Falcons at all (I bet their “under” 10 wins before the season), but they typically play well at home, and I figured they’d be “up” in primetime after a slow start to the season versus the team that embarrassed them in the playoffs last year, and no matter how good the Packers are – it’s tough to win five straight games in the NFL, and they entered with a horrible pass defense. Shame on me. Aaron Rodgers versus Matt Ryan was a mismatch of epic proportions…Ryan has committed more turnovers (nine) than touchdowns (seven) this season, despite adding exciting rookie Julio Jones to the WR corps along with star Roddy White (although if you heard Cris Collinsworth, he claims White is far more injured than letting on). Tony Gonzalez has looked rejuvenated as well. Ryan’s 6.6 YPA mark ranks 25th in the NFL, behind the likes of rookie Andy Dalton. Thanks to 196 passing attempts that are tied for the second-most in football, he’s maintained some fantasy value, but Ryan is really struggling, and as a result, Atlanta looks like huge long shots to contend with the Saints for the NFC South crown.

Massively hung squirrel ruins televised bake-off.

The Lions have outscored their opponents 109-23 in the second half this season…The Bears had eight false starts Monday night, which is more than 25 teams have committed all year…Jahvid Best is fast, especially on turf…If Sam Hurd had scored on the final meaningless play of that game (he got to the two yard line), that would have been one of the worst (I only say this because I backed Detroit, of course) backdoor covers in recent memory…Who would have thought the 49ers at the Lions would be one of the most marquee matchups of Week 6?

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By Dalton Del Don

Last week I went 7-9, although I lost my best bet despite Dallas being up 27-3 in the third quarter and with the ball. I’m 31-31-2 after three weeks. Even Steven like Jerry Seinfeld. Best bet is 1-2-1. Onto the Week 5 picks:

Saints -6.5 at PANTHERS

EAGLES -2 at Bills

Seahawks +10 at GIANTS

Bengals +1 at JAGUARS

Chiefs +1 at COLTS (Best Bet)

TITANS +4.5 at Steelers

Cardinals +2 at VIKINGS

RAIDERS +5.5 at Texans

Buccaneers +3 at 49ers

JETS +9.5 at Patriots

Chargers -4 at BRONCOS

Packers -6 at FALCONS

Bears +5.5 at LIONS

Comments: The Colts are bad but clearly better with Curtis Painter, and they are playing another league doormat. Look for desperate Indy finally to get into the win column, with home field being the difference…I wouldn’t be surprised by numerous upsets this week, and I’m not just talking about the games with spreads fewer than a field goal. Namely the Falcons and Raiders.

By Dalton Del Don

Seriously, how do you blow a 27-3 lead in the third quarter with the ball? With the way Dallas’ defense was playing, it’s safe to say having the offense kneel every play would have resulted in a win, but that’s obviously in hindsight. Tony Romo was unlucky two of his picks were returned for touchdowns, but some of those turnovers in that situation were simply inexcusable, and this coming from a full-blown Romo apologist. As someone who picked the Cowboys as my “best bet” of the week, I had to record a video to vent my frustrations…Calvin Johnson is beyond ridiculous. You know how they say some receivers are still open when covered? Well, he’s still open when double-covered…Detroit has now won eight straight games (they were 5-47 over their previous 52 contests). The Lions also tied the NFL record Sunday for biggest comeback ever on the road…I especially liked how on the final play of the game for Dallas they dumped it off to Felix Jones on 4th-and-20 and then he promptly ran out of bounds after breaking a tackle to gain seven yards…Four teams have already won after trailing by 20+ points this season – tied for most ever in NFL history…At this point, nothing short of a death on the field could get Joe Buck to raise his voice and act excited announcing.

Remi Gaillard is back, this time as The Spider.

After rushing for 205 yards on 25 carries Sunday, Matt Forte is now on pace to finish the season with 2,536 yards from scrimmage and eight touchdowns. He’s up to a career-high 5.4 YPC on the year, which is remarkable considering Chicago’s offensive line. Marion Barber stole a goal-line TD in Week 4, which could continue to be a problem moving forward now that he’s healthy, but it’s hard to argue with Forte’s yardage output. It’s becoming increasingly difficult not to consider him a special back…The Bears had somehow scored 24 points while throwing just one pass midway through the second quarter…Steve Smith was badly underthrown on his 53-yard catch, so it should have resulted in a touchdown. Remarkably, at age 32 and despite posting just 15 receiving yards in one game (thanks in part to a monsoon), Smith is on pace to finish with 2,120 receiving yards, which would be 272 more yards than Jerry Rice’s record-setting 1995 season.

Meet “SuperVaclav” – A budding superhero who fights crime against leaving dog poop and public smoking, although he’s also not a big fan of staying around for confrontations afterward.

Adrian Peterson is without question the safest fantasy asset, but it’s clear with his surroundings, Arian Foster, Darren McFadden, Ray Rice and LeSean McCoy possess more upside…I’m beginning to think Thomas Jones may have lost some explosion at this stage of his career.

World’s scariest perp poses for yet another nightmare-inducing mug shot.

Badass teacher stops fight with verbal smackdown.

After rushing for 155 yards and a touchdown against the Steelers, it’s safe to say Arian Foster is back. In fact, thanks in part to Ben Tate leaving with a groin injury, Foster racked up 19 rushing attempts before the two-minute warning of halftime Sunday. Tate’s status remains up in the air, and Foster isn’t even listed on this week’s injury-report, and with no Andre Johnson, expect another heavy workload in Week 5. With possibly the NFL’s best run-blocking unit on his side, Foster, who might be the best cutback runner in all of football, should be treated as a top-three fantasy player moving forward…Although he scored, Rashard Mendenhall managed just 25 yards on nine carries before exiting Sunday’s game with a hamstring injury. He isn’t expected to practice much this week and is highly questionable to play in Week 5, making Isaac Redman an intriguing guy to stash even with a difficult upcoming matchup against the Titans. Even before the injury, Mendenhall was off to an extremely discouraging start to the season, getting a paltry 3.0 YPC while offering next to nothing as a receiver. The offensive line has been a big problem, and while I’m not a believer in the “curse of 370,” it’s possible Mendenhall is feeling the effects of his NFL-high 385 rushing attempts last season. He’s become a legitimate concern…The Steelers didn’t touch the ball until there was 4:05 left in the first quarter Sunday…Even fantasy players who don’t own Andre Johnson had to cringe watching him go down without contact like a sniper shot him Sunday, although a tentative prognosis of him missing three weeks actually sounds like good news compared to how bad it could have been. In the meantime, Owen Daniels gets the obvious bump in fantasy value, while Kevin Walter becomes a viable option in deep leagues now dealing with bye weeks. It’s safer to take a wait-and-see approach with the enigmatic Jacoby Jones.

Where do you take a sheet?

What were the Bills thinking entering halftime up 17-3? They clearly perform best down at least 20 at that juncture…The Bengals have allowed just 6.3 YPA and four passing scores while yielding an NFL-low 3.1 YPC this season. The schedule has been relatively easy, but with upcoming matchups in Jacksonville and at home against Indy, they are a sneaky fantasy option in the short-term.

I’m pumped for the announcement of the return of “Arrested Development,” and apparently so are Ben & Jerry.

Speaking of underrated defenses, the same could be said about Tennessee, who has allowed a league-low 5.7 YPA with a 4:5 TD:INT ratio and just 3.2 YPC with one rushing score on the year. And to think, the Titans are a Week 1 loss (by two points) to the lowly Jags from being the only undefeated team in the AFC…Nate Washington was shadowed by emerging shutdown corner Joe Haden last week (in fact, his 52-yard catch came when Haden left with a knee injury), gets a stout Pittsburgh secondary in Week 5 (tied for NFL-low 5.7 YPA, although strangely the Steelers are the only team in football yet to record an interception) and then a bye in Week 6, so the new No. 1 WR in Tennessee could soon present a buy-low opportunity. Things really ease up afterward…Colt McCoy had never attempted more than 41 passes in a game before throwing the ball 61 times Sunday.

“Children, clear the phones.”

Ryan Torain didn’t receive his first touch of the season until the middle of the second quarter in Week 4, but he made the most of his opportunity, rushing for 135 yards and a touchdown on just 19 carries. The Rams have been poor defending the run this season, but this was an eye-opening performance regardless of opponent, as coach Mike Shanahan described it perfectly when he called a now fully healthy Torain a man “possessed.” He’s without question a major injury risk, but Torain totaled 751 yards with five touchdowns over eight starts last season, so he’s clearly talented. Tim Hightower’s absence may have had something to do with a shoulder injury that went unreported (although there were rumblings late last week that Shanahan was considering giving Torain an extended opportunity), but it’s worth noting he’s forced the same amount of missed tackles (five) this year while playing 187 snaps as Torain did over 2.5 quarters Sunday. Hightower should remain the passing down back, and while rookie Roy Helu looks promising, he’s most trusted in a change-of-pace role now, so there’s going to be a major opportunity for Torain coming out of the team’s bye, when they are lined up to face PHI, @CAR and @BUF – three teams that rank in the bottom-six in the NFL in YPC allowed…Sam Bradford completed just 46.5 percent of his passes while getting 3.8 YPA and taking seven sacks in Week 4, as he continues to take a major step back during his sophomore campaign. There’s plenty to blame other than Bradford of course, highlighted by a WR corps that not only struggles to separate but also easily “leads” the league with 17 dropped passes (and has apparently lost Danny Amendola for the season). The offensive line has also been a problem, and it’s taken longer than hoped to learn Josh McDaniels’ new offensive system. Still, Bradford’s rookie season was a bit overrated to begin with (6.0 YPA while playing 11 games in a dome), so there’s some reason to worry. He’s not a top-20 fantasy QB.

I was really happy to see Amanda Knox freed, and while I in no way can begin to feel the pain of the Kercher family and can understand why they would be upset being overshadowed, I still don’t get why they acted bothered about Knox being released, claiming they need closure. The admitted (and convicted) killer is currently in prison! How much more closure can you get?! Speaking of, you stay classy TMZ.

Ronnie Brown’s fumble/pass was easily one of the weirdest plays I’ve ever seen in the NFL…Good thing I benched Frank Gore in Y! Friends & Family. Ugh…Failing to protect a big lead and struggling in short-yardage, what a classic Andy Reid game…What a ridiculously impressive forced fumble by Justin Smith on Jeremy Maclin to win the game. I must say, I didn’t foresee the 49ers being up two games in the NFC West one month into the season.

Watch a high school kicker nail a 64-yard field goal with room to spare.

Jimmy Graham recorded 10 catches for 132 yards and a touchdown Sunday, and there’s no question he’s a top-three fantasy tight end. He got a whopping 14 targets, while no other New Orleans wide receiver saw more than seven. Graham’s 147 yards after contact this year lead all tight ends, and he has room for improvement just now in the second year of his career. Kellen Winslow Sr. holds the record for most receiving yards in a season by a tight end in the modern era with 1,290 in 1980. At the quarter pole, Graham is on pace to finish with 1,468 yards. So glad I turned him down straight up for Ben Tate when Brad Evans made that offer a few weeks back…How does Maurice Jones-Drew have just five carries over the first three quarters? Might want to give him a few more touches moving forward…Darren Sproles surprisingly leads the NFL (by a wide margin) with 4.6 YPC after contact.

Man who plotted fake bear attack on ex-girlfriend jailed.

Julio Jones racked up another 11 catches for 127 yards Sunday, giving him 24 and 342 for the year, respectively. He’s still searching for his first touchdown of the season, but it’s hard not to be impressed by the rookie’s fast start. The worries about him being slow to pick up the playbook have certainly been quieted. On the flip side, Jones looks likely to have a negative impact on Roddy White’s fantasy value…It took just 17 game minutes for the Seahawks to cut a 27-7 deficit to 30-28, but ultimately, the valiant comeback fell short. Still, it’s clear last year’s No. 1 seed in the NFC is quite vulnerable this season.

Worshipper rips out both eyes in Mass with his bare hands.

Beanie Wells was a gametime decision Sunday with a hamstring injury, and because of the matchup and late afternoon start, he might have been on some fantasy benches, which would have been frustrating for those owners who watched him run for 138 yards and three touchdowns. The 5.1 YPC at less than full strength is even more impressive when you consider his scores came from one, one and two yards out – all powerful runs he finished strong. Wells still struggles in pass protection and as a receiver, and whether he can stay healthy remains to be seen, but it’s clear last season’s struggles can be directly attributed to a knee injury that lingered all year long, as he’s an explosive, highly talented back when right. He’s a top-12 fantasy RB…Mario Manningham returned Sunday after missing a game with a concussion, and he immediately had a drop and ran a wrong route while having miscommunication with Eli Manning. As a result, he found himself on the bench behind Victor Cruz in two wide receiver sets, as he finished the game with just one catch for 10 yards. Manningham is too talented not to break out of his early season slump, and he makes for a buy-low target in fantasy leagues, but the safe play is to keep him benched for now…Even as someone who bet on the Giants “over” and the Cardinals “under” before the season and also have Hakeem Nicks on numerous teams (who scored a TD on the next play), I fully admit that non-fumble call on Victor Cruz was pretty bogus. I would have been infuriated if I were an Arizona fan.

It’s probably best not to rob a gas station if there’s a cop standing right behind you.

Thanks partly to a Danny Woodhead ankle injury, Stevan Ridley got an extended look Sunday, and he made the most of it, rushing for 97 yards on just 10 carries. His 33-yard TD run revealed explosion BenJarvus Green-Ellis simply doesn’t possess. This follows an impressive preseason by the rookie, who’s already a superior receiver to BGE as well. Woodhead remains week-to-week, and Green-Ellis remains the favorite for goal-line work, but Ridley has a ton of upside if he were ever given a chance as a feature back on such a high-powered offense, even if it’s a pass-first one…Jason Campbell’s interception in the end zone with no Raider within 10 yards was one of the more inexplicable throws I’ve seen in a while. Amazingly, it was Oakland’s first turnover inside the red zone since 2009…As crazy as it sounds, Darrius Heyward-Bey is on the radar in deep fantasy leagues…I like (and by “like” I mean can’t stand) how Hue Jackson elected to punt down 18 points on 4th-and-3 at their own 27-yard line with 6:38 left. Down 18 points on 4th-and-3 at their own 27-yard line with 3:43 left, he then decided to go for it. Huh?

Well, this isn’t your average burglary.

Kyle Orton isn’t one of the worst quarterbacks in the league, and he ended up getting 8.5 YPA in Week 4, but to be blunt, some of his throws were truly awful Sunday…Fifteen carries, 103 yards rushing in Green Bay – where did that come from Willis McGahee?…It looks like Eric Decker can maintain fantasy value even with Brandon Lloyd back in the lineup, although all bets are off when it becomes Tim Tebow time…While he eclipsed 100 total yards, it was disappointing James Starks couldn’t do more in a game in which Ryan Grant was inactive, and the Packers scored 49 points…Aaron Rodgers became the first QB ever to throw for four touchdowns and run for two scores in the same game.

These Yahoo “recommendations” appear a bit spiteful.

I’m still a Brandon Marshall believer, and while shaky QB play is partly to be blamed for his mediocre start, he’s had some seriously crushing drops that have cost him at least two touchdowns so far this season. After a bye and then a matchup with Revis Island, he’ll be an excellent buy-low target…Vincent Jackson owners can hardly complain with 108 receiving yards and a touchdown, but considering he didn’t record a catch after 12:01 left in the second quarter, it could have been so much more. His constant battle with injuries has become a problem…Ryan Mathews may have lost a goal-line score to Mike Tolbert, but he totaled 149 yards while finally revealing the ability to be productive while playing through an injury. It was also important to see Norv Turner give him 21 touches after he missed practice most of the week, a rare occurrence by the coach. Tolbert once again struggled rushing, getting just 2.8 YPC, and remember Mathews scored twice from inside the five just one week prior. Even if they split work from in close, San Diego could easily produce twice the amount of goal-line carries than a team like Minnesota. Sunday marked yet another encouraging development for Mathews owners.

This pizza vending machine also happens to have a 37-inch flat screen TV as well.

What a bizarre and ugly game Sunday night. The five return touchdowns by the Jets and Ravens set an NFL record, while Joe Flacco didn’t complete a single pass in the second and third quarters…Exhibit A why I don’t mess with single game over/unders. An expected defensive battle (the o/u was 37) that featured both quarterbacks combining for a 31.8 completion percentage while getting 4.3 YPA and producing zero touchdowns as well as two teams that combined to get 2.5 YPC with just one rushing score somehow managed to total 51 points…Shonn Greene’s YPC is all the way down to 3.1 this season, and while his 60 receiving yards is already half the total he managed all of last year, it’s hardly enough to make up for such poor running. The team plans on returning to the “ground-and-pound,” but that sounds better in theory than what may become reality, as the offensive line has really struggled, and Greene looks like a bust. In fact, Pro Football Focus has given him the worst “running” grade (-4.2) in all of the NFL over the first four games this season (followed by Reggie Bush, Rashard Mendenhall and Thomas Jones).

This NASCAR fan likes drinking, being naked and rescuing raccoons.

Curtis Painter completed just 13-of-30 passes while making his first NFL start in primetime on the road Monday night, and his numbers were boosted by a somewhat fluky play that went for 87 yards to Pierre Garcon, but it would be tough to argue he’s not an immediate upgrade over Kerry Collins. He actually made a couple of really nice throws, suffered from some drops and didn’t commit a turnover…Garcon only had two catches Monday, and you’d like to see a higher volume combined with that production, but he was Painter’s clear favorite receiver after the QB took over in Week 3, so he’s definitely back on the fantasy radar. It wouldn’t shock if he were more productive than Reggie Wayne from here on out…LeGarrette Blount is an absolute beast – call him the anti-Shonn Greene. It’s too bad he’s so terrible as a receiver, because few backs in football are as good between the tackles.

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By Dalton Del Don

Last week I went 11-5, although I lost my best bet. I’m 24-22-2 after three weeks. Best bet is 1-1-1. Onto the Week 4 picks:

Lions +1.5 at COWBOYS (Best Bet)

Panthers +6.5 at BEARS

SAINTS -7 at Jaguars

TITANS pick ‘em at Browns

Bills -3 at BENGALS

Vikings -1.5 at CHIEFS

49ers +10 at EAGLES

Redskins -1.5 at RAMS

STEELERS +4 at Texans

Falcons -4.5 at SEAHAWKS

GIANTS -1 at Cardinals

BRONCOS +12.5 at Packers

Patriots -4 at RAIDERS

DOLPHINS +7.5 at Chargers

JETS +3 at Ravens

COLTS +10 at Buccaneers

Comments: While most weeks I debate my best bet among a few games, I struggled coming up with a single one this week. The teaser I went with this week was Saints and Eagles.

By Dalton Del Don

Vernon Davis in Week 3 was the latest example of the squeaky wheel getting the grease. He’ll be fine moving forward, but his situation limits his upside compared to other tight ends like Jermichael Finley and Rob Gronkowski…Liked the thought process of the play call asking Andy Lee to take a safety at the end of Sunday’s game, but it still left two seconds remaining, resulting in a kick return anyway (although not a punt)…Cedric Benson has gotten 3.8 YPC or fewer in 11 of his past 14 games.

Well that’s a rather bizarre way to end a soccer match.

Cam Newton came crashing back down to earth, but realize the weather conditions were pretty bad Sunday, and the fact he’s such a force rushing inside the 10 gives him a higher floor than most rookie QBs. I’m still a buyer (and this coming from someone who thought he’d be a bust in the NFL)…Deji Karim has been awful. The Rashad Jennings injury looks like a blessing for MJD owners, assuming the latter can stay healthy of course…DeAngelo Williams has produced 3.15 yards-per-touch this season, while Jonathan Stewart has produced 6.38 (including a crazy 61-yard catch Sunday that was called back after a review that was shaky at best). Seriously, how ridiculous were the contracts given out to Williams, Chris Johnson and Frank Gore this summer? I fully expect all three to improve, of course, but if this doesn’t teach organizations not to overpay this position, I guess nothing will…The Jaguars have been in the red zone one time this season.

This guy sounds more like Eddie Vedder than Eddie Vedder does. Pretty crazy.

Although Matthew Stafford entered Week 3 having yet to take a sack, he had taken a bunch of hits, so Detroit’s offensive line remains a concern. He took five sacks Sunday, and the team struggles with run blocking as well…Calvin Johnson has become the only player in NFL history with two touchdowns in each of the first three games of the season…The Vikings have outscored their opponents 54-7 in the first half this year. They are 0-3.

What a brutal loss for Kenny Britt owners. He looked sure to return second round value (at least), so even though he didn’t cost as much during drafts, it’s a massive blow. Nate Washington looks like the primary beneficiary and must be owned in all fantasy leagues as a result…Speaking of fantasy owners getting screwed, how about Knowshon Moreno being active yet seeing zero snaps? That’s not ideal…The Titans have yet to return a single kickoff this season…The loss of Britt is huge, but I must say, I in no way saw Matt Hasselbeck at this age, changing offensive schemes and moving to a tougher division posting an 8.3 YPA mark with a 69.6 completion percentage over his first three games.

Customer pulls shotgun at Taco Bell over lack of hot sauce.

I’m beginning to think Reggie Bush might not be cut out to be a feature back in the NFL…Joe Haden has turned into a shutdown corner who often shadows opposing teams’ No. 1 WR, so don’t panic Brandon Marshall owners…Montario Hardesty looked plenty competent, so while Peyton Hillis can’t be blamed for missing a game with a severe case of strep throat, the long-term consequences could result in more of a committee.

Delonte West is the best.

If you follow the narrative surrounding Eli Manning this season, it would seem he’s been a disaster, when the truth is he’s been the opposite. Manning has produced seven touchdowns with just two turnovers over the first three games, posting a ridiculously good 8.8 YPA mark with a depleted WR corps…Michael Vick already has seven fumbles this season…Jason Pierre-Paul is a beast who looks like a man playing amongst boys. What a draft pick by the Giants…Can someone explain why New York went for two up 20-16 with 8:07 left in the fourth quarter? Math is hard.

Bruce Bochy apparently decided to give an interview while on the toilet, which could also be a metaphor for the Giants’ season.

The Saints have scored 34.6 points per game this season, facing two of the top four defenses in points against last year (Green Bay and Chicago) as well as a Houston defense that had allowed just 20 points over the first two games of this season. It wouldn’t be crazy to rank the Saints atop any power ratings board right now…Houston dominated for stretches in Week 3, but the red zone killed them. Can’t win settling for so many field goals…Once again, can someone explain why New Orleans went for two up 30-26 with 7:10 left in the fourth quarter? The teams totaled 73 points in a game that Vegas pegged as the highest scoring of the week, so you’re telling me Sean Payton was more concerned about the Texans kicking two field goals without his own team scoring than a Houston touchdown? Huh? The attempt was successful, but it predictably had no benefit later on, and if they had been unsuccessful, they would have been down three points instead of two after Houston scored a TD with 4:13 left.

Man selling his own thumb to save haunted train museum.

I’m never one to look ahead in survivor pools, but it became apparent that was a mistake last week after having used San Diego and Pittsburgh during the first two weeks, as they were the obvious choices in Week 3. I went with New England, fully aware there was a good chance I’d lose, so I have no defense when I admit I gloated when they were up 21-0. Serves me right. What a miserable defense. And while I want to hate on Tom Brady for throwing as many picks Sunday as he did all of last season, clearly a couple weren’t his fault, and Chad Ochocinco is dead to me after his sure touchdown catch was dropped with 8:12 left. The Pats ended up scoring on the drive, but obviously the time difference mattered. Put a fork in Ochocinco, he’s done…The Bills are the first team in NFL history to win back-to-back games in which they have trailed by 18 (or more) points…Does anyone know what school Ryan Fitzpatrick went to in college?…Brady was 13 yards short of becoming the first QB ever to throw for 400 yards in three straight games…BenJarvus Green-Ellis played just 28-of-75 snaps, but Fred Jackson is a top-10 fantasy RB…In PPR formats, Wes Welker might be the No. 1 overall fantasy player…Why did New England tackle Fred Jackson at the one-yard line? I don’t want to go into a tirade after that decision already raised my blood pressure immensely and cost at least two years of my life, but it’s safe to say those who made that tackle didn’t exactly impress on the Wonderlic. Honestly, it was one of the dumbest things I’ve ever seen in sports.

These people are absolutely insane.

Torrey Smith’s first three catches in the NFL all went for touchdowns during the first quarter of Baltimore’s win Sunday. A true deep threat, the rookie finally gives Joe Flacco a downfield weapon he’s never had throughout his career. With Flacco possessing one of the strongest arms in football, it should be a good fit. Smith will likely be inconsistent as a rookie, and his role may be reduced when Lee Evans returns from his ankle injury, but his future looks bright…Ed Dickson continues to quietly be more and more involved in the Ravens’ offense, so he’s a flier to add if you need help at tight end…The Rams were my pick to win the NFC West this season, and while I acknowledged their schedule early on was tough, Sunday’s game has become something of a must-win with upcoming trips to Green Bay and Dallas next on the docket after a bye. And even then, they get the Saints at home and two more road games following (with a trip to Pittsburgh in Week 16 as well). Seven wins may once again win the NFC West.

Hit man falls in love with victim, so he faked her death with ketchup.

The Raiders became the first team since 1995 to win a game with zero third-down conversions Sunday. No team bucks trends quite like Oakland…I was a Shonn Greene backer before the season, but I admit, he’s a bum…Even as a “hater,” I have to give LaDainian Tomlinson credit for what he’s done so late in his career….Mark Sanchez seems like a fantasy afterthought, but he’s gotten 8.0 YPA and produced seven touchdowns over three games. If the Jets’ running game continues to struggle, the third-year QB becomes a fantasy option.

Check out Virginia’s Marquis Weeks’ explanation for his 100-yard kickoff return.

Ryan Mathews totaled 149 yards and two touchdowns on 25 touches during the Chargers’ win Sunday. Mike Tolbert, meanwhile, has gotten just 2.6 YPC on the year and has seen his carries dwindle by the week. Tolbert isn’t going to completely disappear from the offense, but it’s important to note both of Mathews’ scores came from inside the five, as he’s now being trusted in the red zone and in pass protection. He’s missed time thanks to injuries in each of the past four seasons dating back to college, so while all running backs carry some health risk, Mathews might present more than usual. However, he’s clearly shown elite skills and when you combine that with possibly the best situation in the NFL in San Diego, you get top-three upside…Antonio Gates’ foot injury just won’t go away, and it appears it’s once again going to be a season-long problem. If he somehow returns in a week or two and puts up a decent game, try to trade him. This is a problem that’s not going away any time soon…So Todd Haley running his offensive coordinator out of town wasn’t a good thing?…Kansas City had zero first downs in the first half (33 yards total).

Man dies from spontaneous combustion.

I’m done trying to predict Green Bay’s backfield for the time being, although James Starks makes for a fine fantasy play in Week 4 if Ryan Grant (kidney) is out…Matt Forte is on pace to finish the year with 117 receptions and 1,531 receiving yards. And 635 rushing yards…Interesting how the Bears decided to unveil possibly the cleverest punt return in NFL history when they were down two scores late. Incidentally, the phantom holding call cost me a backdoor cover.

I essentially wrote Sidney Rice off last week, which appears to be a mistake. He had eight catches for 109 yards Sunday, and while it was in a plus matchup, he’s going to be a target monster in a Seattle offense with no other viable options. Rice’s shoulder injury could be a season long problem, but he looked fine during his debut and isn’t expected to be listed on the injury report this week…So I guess it’s Alfonso Smith and not Chester Taylor backing up Chris Wells. Get well soon Beanie!

Fleeing driver calls police to tell them to stop chasing him.

LeGarrette Blount has 18 carries for 40 yards (2.2 YPC) during the first half of games this season and 24 carries for 127 yards (5.3 YPC) after halftime. He’s a volume guy…Matt Ryan has 27 touchdowns with 25 turnovers and a 6.3 YPA over 20 outdoor games during his career…After posting a 15:1 TD:INT ratio over the second half of last season, Josh Freeman has already been picked off four times this year.

Entering the final day of the season leading my home fantasy baseball league, I watched in horror as my opponent gained two points in WHIP during the last inning of Gio Gonzalez’s outing, pushing him past me into first place. It doesn’t get any more frustrating than that, considering it was literally the last game being played for the year, and we have an 1,800-innings cap (tough to move the needle in WHIP at that stage, let alone gain two full points in one inning of action). FML.

In the summer, Mike Wallace amusingly stated his goal was to reach 2,000 receiving yards this season, but the joke may ultimately be on us, as he’s currently on pace to surpass that mark. In fact, dating back to last year, he’s broken the century mark in six consecutive games. One of the league’s premier deep threats, Wallace has also racked up 21 catches so far this year after getting just 60 all of last season, as he’s been targeted heavily. While Pittsburgh’s offensive line is a problem, Wallace looks unstoppable, and it would be hard not to treat him as a top-five fantasy wide receiver…Kerry Collins has completed just 49.0 percent of his passes and gotten an anemic 4.9 YPA with the Colts this season, and his job as starter looks short-lived, as Curtis Painter was an immediate upgrade after replacing him Sunday night. Collins is questionable to play Monday night after dealing with a concussion, but there’s no questioning his performance this year, which has been a disaster. It’s arguable no team in sports would be as affected by losing a player as the Colts have been with Peyton Manning.

Angry 91-year-old throws bucket of urine at meddlesome teens.

Watching four botched snaps out of shotgun from Dallas was comical Monday night. Seriously, they were at home. How does that happen?…What a play on 4th-and-21. Before that though, Rex Grossman clearly fumbled but was ruled down. The ref should always err on the side that’s later reviewable in close cases like that…Washington called a timeout with 2:03 left in the fourth quarter, and while normally it’s a good idea to take a T.O. before the two minute warning, in this case, it gave Dallas the option of passing (although for some reason they didn’t)…Dallas became the first team in NFL history to play in nine consecutive games decided by three points or fewer.

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By Dalton Del Don

Last week I went 6-9-1, tying my best bet (thanks to a reality star coming up a yard short). I’m 13-17-2 after two weeks, so not the best start. Onto the Week 3 picks:

Jaguars +3.5 at PANTHERS

BRONCOS +7 at Titans

Texans +4 at SAINTS

Lions -3.5 at VIKINGS

Giants +5* at EAGLES

Patriots -9 at BILLS

DOLPHINS +2 at Browns

49ers +2.5 at BENGALS (Best Bet)

Jets -3.5 at RAIDERS

Ravens -4 at RAMS

CHIEFS +15 at Chargers

Falcons +1 at BUCCANEERS

Packers -3.5 at BEARS

Cardinals -3.5 at SEAHAWKS

Steelers -11 at COLTS

Redskins +4.5* at COWBOYS

Comments: * denotes the line we used when the RW Staff Picks column was due earlier this week…It feels weird giving 3.5 points with a team that’s 2-16 over their last 18 games, but such is the case with the Panthers…I actually expect the Raiders to beat the Jets outright this week…The Seahawks look like a true doormat, but I can’t see Arizona laying more than a field goal having to play in a tough Seattle environment…After being just three-point dogs (which turned out to be spot on) last week against the Cowboys, the 49ers are getting less than three in Cincinnati? Clearly, Vegas respects San Francisco more than I do.

By Dalton Del Don

What an entertaining Raiders/Bills game, with a whopping five lead changes in the fourth quarter alone. The fact it was clear someone caught the game-ending Hail Mary (just not whom) made it even crazier…I’m a Ryan Fitzpatrick believer, and it’s hard to argue with his 7:1 TD:INT ratio and 109.6 QB rating while taking just one sack, but the accompanying 6.6 YPA at least needs to be noted. Having said that, another nice game very well could be in store in another possible shootout against the Pats in Week 3. In fantasy sports, volume often matters just as much as efficiency anyway…Darren McFadden remains a very real injury risk, and Michael Bush replacing him at the goal-line at times hurts, but it’s hard not treating him as a top-three fantasy asset right now. He’s the favorite to lead the NFL in yards from scrimmage on a per game basis…C.J. Spiller certainly looks better this year compared to last, but this is Fred Jackson’s backfield for the foreseeable future. He currently leads the NFL with 229 rushing yards…Denarius Moore is the real deal. At least I hope so, since I just blew my FAAB load on him in a dynasty league in which he was mystifyingly dropped last week…I’ve decided the real contrarian thing to do is pick the west coast teams travelling to play the early game on the East Coast, at least against the spread, because since everyone is in on this theory, it’s clearly priced into the line.

I used to be pretty anti-hunting, but this commercial has me seriously reevaluating my views.

If Sunday’s game was any indication, the Lions are suddenly legitimate threats in the NFC, and Kansas City is a true league doormat…My condolences Jamaal Charles owners. What a devastating loss. And on a non-contact play too. I know the mascot causing the injury would be a better narrative, but I’m almost positive he tore his ACL right before going down there. Dexter McCluster obviously needs to be added in all leagues as a result, although expectations should be tempered since his touches will be limited…I’ve always been a Nate Burleson fan, but for some reason, he slipped through the cracks during my drafts this year. Looks like I’m going to regret it…Matthew Stafford owners certainly can’t complain, but realize his 599 passing yards and seven touchdowns have come essentially over just six quarters this season, so his year could easily be even bigger. He’s also yet to be sacked…I can’t believe how many times I’ve heard or read how the Chiefs lost their best defensive player in Eric Berry. He got a 3.8 rating from Pro Football Focus last year, ranking 20th among safeties. Teammate Tamba Hali got a 51.5 rating – the highest of any defender in the NFL. Berry is good, but the Chiefs still have their best defensive player.

Man accused of stealing Dolphins jersey shows up to court wearing Dolphins jersey.

Make no mistake, despite the poor showing in Week 1 against the defending Super Bowl champs, this New Orleans defense is legit. They get Will Smith back from suspension in Week 3 as well…The Bears’ receiving corps is as big of a mess as ever, but Matt Forte racking up 10 catches for 117 yards was pretty eye-opening…I actually like the new rule that every score is subject to booth review, but not sure how seriously we can take it after Darren Sproles’ TD was confirmed. He without question stepped out of bounds.

This video of two alligators fighting is pretty intense. I must admit, I personally probably would have stayed a few club lengths farther away while filming.

I’m beginning to think the Colts might not be as good without Peyton Manning…Remember all that talk about how the Browns wanted to limit Peyton Hillis’ workload this season? His 54 touches currently lead the NFL…I’m not one to (at least openly) root for failure, and the situation certainly isn’t easy, but Jim Caldwell is finally being exposed as one of the worst coaches in the league. What’s the Colts’ O/U right now? Three wins? Two?

If only this guy was a bit more descriptive of his car accident.

Mike Williams (one catch for -4 yards) owners probably don’t want to hear it, but he had a TD catch taken away Sunday thanks to an illegal shift penalty that didn’t affect the play at all. He’ll remain a red-zone beast, so don’t sell low…Speaking of beasts, LeGarrette Blount should probably have more than 18 carries on the season so far…How does Percy Harvin play just 30-of-68 offensive snaps? I’ve always been a fan, and he still managed seven catches for 76 receiving yards, but in this passing attack with that usage, I’m starting to get concerned.

This footage from the recent Reno air race crash is pretty terrifying.

I’d argue Cam Newton is the toughest player to rank in fantasy football right now. The three picks were obviously black marks, but Charles Woodson made really good plays on two of them. And while Newton has played two secondaries that have been torched during each of their games this season, and it’s likely he struggles some the more game tape defensive coordinators can study, it’s hard to argue against his 854 passing yards to open his career. The fact that’s combined with 71 rushing yards and two scores suddenly makes him a QB1 for fantasy purposes. I thought he might struggle to reach a 50 percent completion percentage in his rookie year, but he currently sits at 62.7, with an even more impressive 10.3 YPA mark. Andy Behrens recently offered me Newton for Frank Gore straight up in Yahoo Friends & Family, and I wasn’t even THAT insulted (especially compared to other offers I’ve received in that league this week). Where do you guys have Newton ranked among fantasy QBs moving forward?…Jonathan Stewart has more receiving yards this season than he did while playing 14 games all of last year…John Kuhn is apparently going to cap his upside for the time being, but it’s not even close how much James Starks has outplayed Ryan Grant so far…Last week Aaron Rodgers finished the first quarter 14-of-15 with 188 yards and three touchdowns. In Week 2, the team ran three offensive plays total.

It’s unclear what this guy’s feelings are regarding Jerry Jones.

It was no surprise to see Pittsburgh right the ship against possibly the league’s worst team Sunday, but they did so in dominant fashion that made the 14.5-point spread look tiny in comparison. There was never even a threat of Seattle scoring a touchdown…In the long run, maybe it’s Pete Carroll having the last laugh trading for Tarvaris Jackson and not taking a QB last draft. Despite playing in the NFC West, the Seahawks look like the current favorites for Andrew Luck…It’s too bad about Sidney Rice’s injury, as it looks like he’s going to have little fantasy impact this season.

Smoking babies in Indonesia has become an epidemic.

With 6:58 left in the 4th quarter, the Ravens inexplicably kicked a field goal on 4th-and-goal down 23-10, keeping their deficit at two scores. Huh? I’m a huge John Harbaugh fan, but this was pretty indefensible. The next time they touched the ball was with 20 seconds left in the game. By the way, my wife disagrees, but I think Harbaugh looks like coach Taylor…Chris Johnson is more buy-low than someone to panic about…No reason not to treat Kenny Britt as a top-10 fantasy wide receiver moving forward (update: he’s again dealing with a hamstring injury).

It’s funny because it’s juvenile.

It’s funny because they’re Amish.

Tim Hightower got 96 rushing yards with 4.8 YPC Sunday, but he was noticeably absent down the stretch. He has 203 total yards and a touchdown over two games, so he’s lived up to expectations, but Roy Helu could become a hindrance sooner rather than later…Rex Grossman threw a couple bad picks, but he’s clearly on the fantasy radar now. Over five starts in Washington under Mike Shanahan, he’s averaged 287.2 passing yards with 11 touchdowns…Fred Davis should be used as a TE1 moving forward. He’s clearly a superior option to Chris Cooley…Kevin Kolb has gotten 9.8 YPA so far in Arizona, and while his 110.3 QB rating would normally stand out, it ranks just fifth in the NFL during a year in which the first two weeks of the season rate as the two highest for passing yards in NFL history, respectively.

Here’s an Anti-Coning McDonalds Manager.

Luke McCown completed 31.6 percent of his passes for 3.1 YPA with a 0:4 TD:INT ratio, good for a 1.8 QB rating Sunday. That’s not ideal…Maybe Plaxico Burress is going to struggle after all. He might as well have been on a milk carton Sunday, despite the coaching staff’s insistence he was constantly double-teamed…Maurice Jones-Drew has made the best out of a pretty dire situation so far…If you can trade Shonn Greene at 60 cents on the dollar, I’m all for it. I’d certainly rather own Ryan Mathews or probably even Ben Tate moving forward.

That’s real normal.

SpongeBob SquarePants detained by LAPD.

If Tony Romo’s performance Sunday didn’t prove he’s not soft or incapable of performing in clutch situations, not sure what other than a Super Bowl victory will. And even the latter coming to fruition might not convince some, as he appears to have quite a bit of haters, which is odd since he seems like a nice enough fellow. Seriously, I’ve bruised my ribs before playing intramural basketball in college, and I couldn’t take my shirt off without help, let alone return to an NFL game. Now some who know me may point to me having something of a less than strong pain tolerance, and while I didn’t have the benefit of cortisone, I also didn’t have a punctured lung as well, which no doubt just by the sound of it would have required a month stay in the hospital. Romo is the man…It’s frustrating Felix Jones is already hurt and not performing all that well, but it’s worth noting he’s faced a Jets and 49ers defense on the road (and on grass) who have allowed 3.3 YPC and (an NFL-low) 2.5 YPC through two games this season…As someone who parlayed the Cowboys -3 with the Mayweather/Ortiz fight going under 11.5 rounds (+150), let me say watching Jesse Holley getting tackled at the 1-yard line in overtime was an event in which I may never recover…Tough break for Miles Austin owners, although as a big Dez Bryant backer, admittedly it’s crocodile tears…Some very interesting coaching decisions by Jim Harbaugh, who decided not to take points off the board after David Akers made a 55-yard field goal while Dallas committed a 15-yard penalty. I can understand the sentiment with the 49ers’ struggles in the red zone and the game situation, but even more interesting was his decision not to try an onside kick from the 50. The risk/reward there kind of made it a no-brainer. Although really, Harbaugh’s biggest mistake was not going for it on 4th-and-1 from the 38 before the FG attempt.

Speaking of Mayweather/Ortiz, while I obviously would prefer more than four rounds of entertainment for a $69.95 bill, that ending was without question more exciting than a boring 12-round decision, and while Ortiz wasn’t completely dominated, it was clear he was totally outclassed and the outcome was inevitable either way. His intentional head butt was one of the worst I’ve ever seen, and as for the controversial knockout (I fully blame referee Joe Cortez. Why was he looking at the clock starters and not the boxers? Ridiculous), if any boxer can’t complain, it’s Ortiz. I understand why everyone hates Mayweather, but he’s easily one of my favorite athletes. His interview with Larry Merchant afterward was absolute gold. I especially liked Dana White’s take on it. Let me repeat, if Mayweather/Pacquiao never happens, someone will be murked.

Andy Dalton (who better do my name proud) has somehow completed 66.1 percent of his passes with 7.4 YPA and a 3:0 TD:INT ratio over his first six quarters in the NFL after a preseason in which he looked completely incompetent…I’m normally all about youth over veterans in football, especially when it comes to the running back position, but I honestly might prefer Willis McGahee over “Noshow” Moreno over the rest of the year…He’ll lose some value once Brandon Lloyd returns, but with Eddie Royal (one of my worst fantasy calls ever back in 2009) out, Eric Decker needs to be one of the top waiver priorities in Week 3. He could make a major impact from here on out…I’m an idiot and didn’t end up with A.J. Green on many of my fantasy teams this year, but at least I have solace that I bet my friend Adam $100 that he’d have a better career than Julio Jones (I’m obviously kidding that it’s a done deal after two weeks, but this is the same guy I recently bet Tiger Woods wouldn’t surpass Jack Nicklaus in majors, which clearly reveals his incompetence).

This team was down 29-0 before ever touching the football.

Mike Tolbert is obviously a huge part of the Chargers’ offense and will continue to rack up the catches. But he’s gotten 2.1 YPC this year, including a couple of questionable runs in short-yardage situations in which he hasn’t hit the hole hard (he’s also fumbled three times over the past three games, dating back to last year). There’s little doubt Tolbert is the better blocker than Ryan Mathews, which is extremely important considering Philip Rivers is one of the five most important players in the NFL, but there’s as equally no doubt Mathews is the superior rusher and receiver with the ball in his hands…New England is known for keying on stopping opposing teams’ best player, which speaks volumes about Antonio Gates. He’ll be better moving forward, whereas Vincent Jackson will rarely benefit from single coverage like that also. Still, VJax is going to be a monster this year barring health – Week 1 was a fluke…Horrible injury news for Aaron Hernandez owners. Obviously Rob Gronkowski’s value gets a boost as a result. Both were top-five options beforehand, so it’s not a stretch to call Gronkowski the No. 1 fantasy tight end until Hernandez returns…Words can’t describe how good Tom Brady has been. He’s gone from being known as a great player who won Super Bowls to one who’s team hasn’t won a playoff game since 2007, but he’s easily been the best player in the NFL over the past two-plus years.

These TV stills are pretty funny.

I expected Reggie Bush to remain a productive fantasy player until he got hurt, so I for one found it surprising Daniel Thomas replaced him Sunday due to performance. The rookie had been criticized heavily throughout the preseason for running without authority, but he’s suddenly firmly on the fantasy radar…It’s not entirely clear if Houston is an extremely legitimate team because they have faced the Colts and Dolphins – the former now looks like a true doormat, whereas the latter showed some fight against the Patriots in Week 1…Ranking the Houston backfield from here on out is a guess, but I’d personally treat Ben Tate as a top-20 fantasy asset right now (and he’s a top-three fantasy start any week Arian Foster is inactive)…If I hear how Foster “reaggravated” his hamstring injury one more time I’ll go crazy. He either aggravated or re-injured it. Reaggravated is redundant and not a word…Miami is now 1-10 over its past 11 home games.

These people are out of their minds.

Jon “Bones” Jones is my favorite MMA fighter, but I have no clue why he’s jumped from a -200 to -700 favorite over Rampage Jackson this weekend.

It didn’t feel great watching Jeremy Maclin go absolutely off Sunday night having benched him in my home league, but it’s obviously good news for his fantasy owners that he clearly appears to be back to 100 percent. Last year’s 10/70 TD/reception ratio doesn’t seem repeatable, but Maclin has a high pedigree, is still just 23 years old and is just now entering his third year in the league. DeSean Jackson isn’t a high volume guy and injury prone, whereas Maclin is clearly the team’s No. 1 option in the red zone. If Michael Vick can stay healthy, a huge season could be in store for Maclin in such a high-powered offense. He was targeted 15 times Sunday…Tough break for Vick owners, especially since he got hurt in the pocket (and by his own teammate no less). The team seemingly fell apart after his departure, but it’s not like Mike Kafka played poorly (77.8%, 8.0 YPA). Good thing I have Vince Young stashed in a couple of leagues…Pretty awesome TD catch by Tony Gonzalez. Atlanta sure did set a blue print on how to attack this Eagles defense.

Real life “Weekend at Bernie’s.”

I somehow lucked into ridiculously good seats for a “TV On The Radio” concert Tuesday night. Couldn’t be more pumped.

I was rooting hard for the Giants on Monday night having them on the back end of a teaser, but I fully admit the Rams mostly outplayed them and the score was highly misleading. Of course, red-zone efficiency is a skill, and turnovers are always the great equalizer, but still, St. Louis dominated a lot of facets of that game, especially during the first half…The difference between the Giants’ front four and back seven on defense is beyond drastic. That secondary looks brutal. Especially once Osi Umenyiora returns, it’s possible the D-line can compensate…If you’re going to tear your ACL, at least Domenik Hixon did so in style…Talk about adding injury to insult, not only did Mario Manningham tripping cost him a sure 53-yard touchdown, but he got himself concussed as well…Good to see the NFL retroactively reward Hakeem Nicks a 23-yard catch. I had Nicks in a close battle down to the end, so I was going nuts when the refs ruled it incomplete at the time, as it was a clear (and nice one-handed) catch, and the Giants had no incentive to challenge because there was pass interference on the play…It’s safe to say it wasn’t Steve Spagnuolo’s best coaching night. Not only did he inexplicably punt down 12 points with 1:34 left with no timeouts (meaning all this affected was where on the field the Giants would kneel), but even as someone who generally thinks teams go for two too early in games, I can’t figure out why the Rams kicked an extra point down 28-15 with 1:18 left in the third quarter. A two-point conversion there brings them to within two scores opposed to three, and even if it fails, there’s not a huge difference being down 13 compared to 12 at that time (it’s still two scores even if the Giants kick a FG)…Two Giants clearly faking injuries at the same time was high comedy (although I would have been livid if I were a Rams fan).

Follow me on Twitter.

By Dalton Del Don

Last week I went 7-8-1, winning my best bet in the process. Onto the Week 2 picks:

SEAHAWKS +14.5 at Steelers

Ravens -5.5 at TITANS

Jaguars +9.5 at JETS

Cardinals +3.5 at REDSKINS

RAIDERS +3.5 at Bills

Buccaneers +3 at VIKINGS

BEARS +7 at Saints

Packers -10.5 at PANTHERS

Browns -1.5 at COLTS

CHIEFS +9 at Lions

COWBOYS (Best Bet) -3 at 49ers

Bengals +3.5 at BRONCOS

Texans -3 at DOLPHINS

CHARGERS +7 at Patriots

Eagles -2 at FALCONS

Rams +6 at GIANTS

Comments: I rarely pick a road favorite for best bet, and maybe I’m being a sucker here, but that line in San Francisco seems awfully low…The Packers are obviously legit, but that’s a monstrous number to lay on the road…I get the Colts are doormats without Peyton Manning, but I’m still surprised to see Cleveland laying points in Indy…The Chiefs/Lions game is a perfect buy low, sell high opportunity…I struggled most with CHI/NO and STL/NYG.

By Dalton Del Don

It wouldn’t be a stretch to say there won’t be a better game all season than the first one, as the Saints and Packers put on quite a show…Aaron Rodgers finished the first quarter 14-of-15 with 188 yards and three touchdowns against a New Orleans secondary that allowed an NFL-low 13 TD passes last season. That Packers offense looks scary good, especially with Jermichael Finley back, and Randall Cobb looks like a player too…Ryan Grant owners won’t want to hear it, but James Starks looks much better…New Orleans had the lowest YPC (-0.3) versus short-yardage defense in the NFL last year, and it looks like they’ll continue to struggle in that area if game one is any indication. Almost always I’m all for going for it on fourth-and-goal, especially at the one-yard line, but it’s worth noting there’s now slightly less incentive to do so with the new kickoff rules…Coach Mike McCarthy seriously needs to learn how to put away teams…I’m a Chris Collinsworth fan, but it would be nice if he didn’t preface every other sentence with “I tell ya.”

Man wearing gumby costume tries to rob a 7-Eleven, ends up losing 27 cents.

Drunken elk rescued from apple tree.

As someone who bet on the Rams to win the NFC West this year, it wasn’t the greatest start to see them get boat raced at home while also losing their quarterback, running back, WR1, right tackle and both starting cornerbacks in Week 1. As a 49ers fan, I guess it’s good news, but this isn’t baseball, where anything can happen in the playoffs. Best case scenario has S.F. getting blown out in the Wild Card round. I’d much prefer them go 0-16 and win the “Suck for Luck” lottery (make no mistake, he’s the best NFL prospect in more than a decade)…Michael Vick kneeling twice at the end of Sunday’s game taking his rushing yards down from 100 to 98 is the latest example of just how stupid fantasy scoring systems that reward “bonuses” for selective end points are…I still like St. Louis’ defense this year and wouldn’t be surprised if Chris Long finished top-three among sack leaders…Only health can prevent LeSean McCoy from finishing as a top-five fantasy asset…Carnell Williams is actually older than Steven Jackson, but his career mileage is far lower, and if the former misses time, which looks likely, the latter will be worth using until he breaks down.

The best exit from a reality show of all-time.

The “Entourage” finale predictably sucked (Sophia went from having to be convinced to have a drink with Vince to marrying him in less than five minutes), but Larry David just finished a masterpiece. “Curb Your Enthusiasm’s” eighth season was nothing short of brilliant.

I like how Matt Cassel got 3.3 YPA and Jamaal Charles got 5.6 YPC during the Chiefs’ ugly loss. At least Thomas Jones may finally be put out to pasture…Ryan Fitzpatrick has now thrown 18 touchdowns over his past seven road games…It’s Scott Chandler’s world, the rest of us are just passing through…Stevie Johnson is going to dominate targets this season – last year’s breakout shouldn’t be treated as a fluke. A similar if not better year looks to be in store in 2011…Dwayne Bowe continues to be the biggest boom-or-bust fantasy player.

This altercation caught on video by an unsuspecting bystander is fascinating. Still not quite sure why she didn’t just pull over. Maybe she wanted to see the man with the bat do some work.

Man in crotchless spandex outfit sets fire, tries to cook his own “weenie” in city park.

Michael Turner somehow managed 10.0 YPC and had more receiving yards (40) than any game in his career yet left fantasy owners a bit disappointed thanks to the game situation. And he was caught from behind on his 53-yard run, highlighting his decreasing explosiveness. Still, it was obviously an encouraging performance on an efficiency basis…Matt Ryan averaged 1.28 sacks per game over the first three years of his career but was brought down five times Sunday (that included 43 yards lost as well as a fumble that was returned for a TD). The 66.0 completion percentage doesn’t mean much when it’s accompanied with 6.8 YPA. Now down both defensive tackles due to injuries, Ryan really needs to step it up…The safe bet is that once again no Bears’ wide receivers are worth using in fantasy leagues this season.

Denny’s never claimed to be healthy, but they are now taking it next level.

That might be because fairs keep raising the bar, including the newest incarnation – deep fried bubble gum.

Matthew Stafford had a fantastic Week 1, but his stats look even better when you consider they were almost entirely compiled over three quarters. Watching him limp off (just cramps) was a good reminder just how injury prone he is, but only health can prevent him from being a top-five fantasy QB this year…Jahvid Best’s low YPC is something of a concern since he’s now seemingly fully healthy, but his usage was pretty encouraging. He’s constantly a threat to break a long play, and few RBs are utilized as much as a receiver…I’m not panicking about LeGarrette Blount, but it’s clear his usage will be based on game situations, which doesn’t exactly bode well considering Tampa Bay’s schedule projects to be much tougher than last season. He’s completely ignored on passing downs…Andre Johnson is definitely safer, but Calvin Johnson’s TD potential makes him the WR with by far the most upside…My favorite penalty of Week 1 occurred during this game, which was a 15-yarder against Detroit for “disconcerning signals”… Apparently Chris Myers imbibed some bourbon on the rocks while announcing this game.

Possibly the greatest announcing I’ve ever heard. Be sure to stay to the very end.

This orangutan is having a hard time kicking her cigarette habit.

While Maurice Jones-Drew owners can’t love seeing Deji Karim getting 14 carries, that’s certainly less of a concern with MJD getting 24 himself. No back should ever be expected to see more than that, especially one coming off knee surgery. However, of some concern is Karim’s clear advantage on passing downs. It’s definitely something Jones-Drew owners should be monitoring moving forward…Obviously Chris Johnson is more buy-low than someone to worry about…Huge Kenny Britt fan and have him in multiple leagues but had him on my bench in Yahoo Friends & Family. One of the two or three best deep threats in the NFL, his 80 yard TD Sunday was far more run after catch than a big play downfield, but it’s scored the same either way. He’s easily the most talented WR Matt Hasselbeck has ever had as a teammate. But realize that performance came against a Jacksonville secondary that allowed an NFL-high 8.3 YPA last season.

I’m just going to go ahead and call this accused murderer guilty.

I must say, the new Jay-Z and Kanye West album is pretty sick.

It’s not often those who pick a team in survivor can complain about how the opponent losing their starting quarterback was a bad break but so was the case Sunday with the Browns. However, Bruce Gradkowski was terrible other than his 41-yard touchdown to A.J. Green that resulted from a quick snap when Cleveland was still in a huddle (although in fairness, Browns backers could counter the rookie Andy Dalton wouldn’t have successfully pulled this off)…It wouldn’t shock if Peyton Hillis led the Browns in receptions this season…I’m a Cedric Benson hater, so ignore me if you want, but I’d try to shop him this week after that opening performance.

Vacuum cleaner vs. fire.

As if getting arrested shirtless while wielding a samurai sword after abandoning your car on an interstate isn’t enough, claiming you are “cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs” definitely puts you over the top. Bravo sir.

No one should have been surprised by the Ravens’ win Sunday, but the score and the seven turnovers committed by Pittsburgh were unexpected, to say the least. Don’t worry about Ben Roethlisberger – he’ll be fine. But there’s a legitimate chance Joe Flacco makes “the leap” this season…Over the last 51 games, the Steelers have allowed a player to rush for 100 yards just twice – and both were by Ray Rice. After totaling 149 yards with two touchdowns against the Steelers in Week 1, Rice owners have to be quite happy. I’m not saying he’ll be the No. 1 fantasy player this year, but I will say a fair bet is asking someone to pick one other versus him. I’m all ears if anyone wants to take me up on that proposition.

Lab chimps see daylight for very first time.

Is this a real life ManBearPig?!

I’ve said for years the Colts would be a 3-13 type team without Peyton Manning, yet I cowardly didn’t pick Houston in my survivor pool this week (more on this later), which made it frustrating to watch the Texans enter halftime with a 34-0 lead. Houston is obviously going to win this division running away this year, and the early 8.5 O/U now looks like a gift for those who bet in early August…Mario Williams had two sacks while transitioning to DC Wade Phillips’ new scheme, but it’s worth noting both came while a helpless Dallas Clark was asked to block him…Better times are ahead for Matt Schaub and Owen Daniels owners…Joseph Addai’s best asset to the Colts is protecting Manning, so don’t be surprised if he becomes less and less relevant moving forward. I’d prefer Delone Carter on my fantasy team right now…Reggie Wayne will retain some value, but Austin Collie, whom I definitely drafted in a few leagues in August before the Manning news was further revealed, doesn’t look like a weekly starter at all. Pierre Garcon played nearly twice as many snaps…Words can’t describe just how bad Kerry Collins was. However, this image taken from the preseason gives some indication…Despite all the Colts hate, can someone explain to me why the Browns, who just lost at home to the Bengals as seven point favorites last week and have averaged 4.7 wins over the past three years, are favored while playing in Indianapolis?

Polar bear attacks woman.

Well, this doesn’t seem like an entirely positive outcome.

I bet on the Redskins under (six wins) this year, but I must say, I’m already pretty worried about that after Week 1, as I expected them to lose five or (all) six games within their division, because they are going to also face the terrible NFC West. Mike Lombardi actually picked them to win the NFC East, and if Rex Grossman continues to play like he did in Week 1, it may not turn out as farfetched as it seemed…Tim Hightower was an awful real life running back (as usual) Sunday, but that won’t matter to fantasy owners as long as he’s used the same way moving forward…Fred Davis and Jason Pierre-Paul are both beasts, with only opportunity standing in the way of them becoming fantasy monsters…I love Hakeem Nicks and am heavily invested in him in my fantasy leagues, but I can’t think of a wide receiver with bigger injury concerns.

Burning car lifted off trapped man.

Woman dies after injecting hot beef fat into her face. Death ruled natural.

As someone who took San Diego in Survivor, let me say being down 7-0 just 20 seconds into the game while also losing the team’s field goal kicker for the rest of the game wasn’t exactly ideal. I especially liked how the narrative of the Chargers’ struggles on special teams (which were supposed to be negated by the closer kickoff spot) and typical slow starts to the season were highlighted immediately. Good times. And by that I mean I lived and died with every play from there on out. After going for it on 4th-and-20 (and failing) inside the 30 (because of Kaeding’s injury), and Rivers throwing another pick while forcing it on third down inside the red zone, punter Mike Scifres was asked to attempt a 40-yard field in desperation in the 4th quarter, and he nailed it. I heart Scifres…Philip Rivers didn’t have the best game of his career, but he dealt with a constant pass rush and was inches away from a 50-yard TD pass to Vincent Jackson, who inexplicably slowed down out of his break before being wide open in the end zone…Donovan McNabb showed he’s not done athletically as a runner, but he got 2.6 YPA. If I lost my survivor pool against a QB who got 2.6 YPA, I would have had to murk someone…Mike Tolbert made two ridiculously impressive plays at the goal line, showing his strength in the process of scoring three touchdowns. He’ll remain in that role (playing on passing downs and inside the red zone) for the foreseeable future, making him a worthy fantasy weekly start without question. However, Ryan Mathews might not only be in a good situation (obviously not as far as roles go, but on the right team), but he also shows glimpses of being “special.” With the ball in their hands, few would argue a slow (and fat) Tolbert matches Mathews’ explosiveness. Mathews has a ton of work to do to prove he can remain durable and improve in pass protection, but he has about as much upside as any back in the league.

Baby suckles directly from cow for milk.

I’m sorry, but any time I hear the word suckle I have to post this.

I must admit, I didn’t foresee Cam Newton throwing for an NFL-record 422 yards (along with two touchdown passes and another on the ground) during his NFL debut. Actually, I was under the impression he’d be a failure, but wow, that was pretty impressive, even if it came against a poor secondary. Because of his rushing ability, he’s absolutely on the fantasy radar now. He’ll likely go through plenty of struggles from here on out with more game film for opponents to digest, but there’s little doubt he’s already a huge upgrade over Carolina’s QB situation last year, so those who bet on the team’s “over” (4.5) before the season can go ahead and spend their money…Beanie Wells will probably get hurt, but there’s no reason not to consider him a top-15 fantasy RB right now…Kevin Kolb had a very nice Week 1 against a Panthers’ secondary that’s pretty good, but realize the 48-yard TD to Jeff King came on a completely busted coverage. Still, Larry Fitzgerald owners should expect plenty of better days ahead.

Dutch woman calls ex-boyfriend 65,000 times.

Companion dog lost in Six Flags theme park.

Not only did David Akers kick four field goals Sunday but all of them were within 31 yards, revealing a red-zone ineptitude rarely matched…Both Seattle and San Francisco have sneaky good defenses against the run, so don’t overly worry about Marshawn Lynch and Frank Gore, especially the latter, but both teams passing attacks look to be among the worst in the league….Ted Ginn returned two kicks for a touchdown in less than a minute of gametime…You get the feeling those who drafted Sidney Rice are going to be sorely disappointed.

Easily amazed stoner films confused bird on an escalator.

Surfing was apparently not extreme enough, so why not add some fire to it?

Seriously, why do the Cowboys make it so hard on themselves? They have the talent to make a Super Bowl run, but they also continue to find ways to lose otherwise winnable games…Dez Bryant is a man child with just about as much upside as any receiver in the NFL. It was disappointing to see him cramp up in the second half of Sunday’s game, but it was quite telling how quickly Darrelle Revis went from guarding Miles Austin to Bryant…I must admit, I certainly didn’t see Plaxico Burress having this kind of impact, especially early on…I’m growing tired of the hypothetical fantasy value of Shonn Greene. At some point, he needs to step it up. Already 26 years old, it’s possible he’s just a bum…I like how Al Michaels asked “What do you do here?” before the Jets attempted the game-winning 50-yard field goal. It was 4th-and-8. Not sure there was much of a decision to be made there.

Man jumps over speeding car while front flipping.

Dead boy, 200+ animals found at home.

Before gaining 59 yards and a TD on Monday night, Chad Henne had never rushed for more than 17 yards in any game during his career. Coming off an encouraging preseason, it’s possible Henne makes “the leap” this season…Tom Brady put on an absolute clinic. What a ridiculous performance…Especially with Brady throwing for 517 yards, Chad Ochocinco owners can’t feel great about his one-catch, 17-yard Patriots debut…While they may trade off having big weeks, Aaron Hernandez and Rob Gronkowski are both beasts who should be treated as borderline top-five fantasy tight ends (I’d have a hard time trading Hernandez for Dallas Clark right now). They are the No. 2 and No. 3 targets (and top-two in the red zone) in possibly the NFL’s best passing offense…Finally fully recovered from a hip injury that still lingered last season and now on medication to curtail the crazy, Brandon Marshall looks like a man possessed, and if Monday really was a sign of Henne’s true improvement, Marshall should be treated as a top-five fantasy wideout in PPR formats.

This guy’s boys can swim! In all seriousness, there are some pretty interesting issues brought up here.

Words can’t describe this picture.

What an ugly second game to Monday night’s double-header, as the Raiders and Broncos combined for six fumbles and 25 penalties (for 222 yards). Sebastian Janikowski’s impressive 63-yard field goal was only matched by the size of his dip, and Shane Lechler averaged a ridiculous 58.2 yards on six punts. Oakland dominates in the kicking game…Seriously, how much does ref Jerome Boger sound like the Ladies Man??…Darren McFadden is poised for a monstrous year, barring health. How quickly he went from bust to one of the very best running backs in football.

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AFC East

1. New England Patriots
2. New York Jets (wild card)
3. Miami Dolphins
4. Buffalo Bills

AFC West

1. San Diego Chargers
2. Kansas City Chiefs
3. Oakland Raiders
4. Denver Broncos

AFC North

1. Pittsburgh Steelers
2. Baltimore Ravens (wild card)
3. Cleveland Browns
4. Cincinnati Bengals

AFC South

1. Houston Texans
2. Tennessee Titans
3. Indianapolis Colts
4. Jacksonville Jaguars

NFC East

1. Dallas Cowboys
2. Philadelphia Eagles (wild card)
3. New York Giants (wild card)
4. Washington Redskins

NFC West

1. St. Louis Rams
2. San Francisco 49ers
3. Arizona Cardinals
4. Seattle Seahawks

NFC North

1. Green Bay Packers
2. Detroit Lions
3. Chicago Bears
4. Minnesota Vikings

NFC South

1. New Orleans Saints
2. Atlanta Falcons
3. Tampa Bay Buccaneers
4. Carolina Panthers

Super Bowl: Patriots over Saints

MVP: Philip Rivers

Offensive Rookie of the Year: Mark Ingram

I know no one cares about how I did betting last year, especially ex post facto bragging, which is the worst, but I won seven of my eight O/U bets (with my one loss in horrible fashion, as I took the Panthers over). In fact, of my seven wins, only one even came down to Week 17 (Browns), as I had the rest locked up beforehand. Considering I bet on the Packers at 30/1 to win the Super Bowl before Week 16 and was pretty successful in teasers, I had my best season by far gambling.

But enough with the positives – whereas last year a bunch of over/unders jumped out, Vegas has really turned the corner this time around. I wanted to fade teams like Chicago and Kansas City, but while the former hosted the NFC Championship game last year, their number is currently 8.5 (with the vig -180 on the under!). And after winning the AFC West in 2010, the Chiefs sat at 7.5 before getting pulled off the board after Matt Cassel got hurt. (All lines courtesy of The M as of 9/7).

And when there were lines I liked: Houston over 8.5 (now off the board), Miami under 7.5, Cincinnati under 6, San Diego over 10 and New Orleans over 10, the vigs got so extreme, it was no longer even worth it. In all those examples, I’d rather cede a half win with a vig closer to even, without question, and sometimes I’d be willing to give up a whole win. In other words – no O/U bets jump out this season, unfortunately. One lesson I learned is to pounce on these in early August before they get so corrected. Of course, that won’t stop a degenerate like me from placing some bets, and here’s what I did:

Dallas OVER 8.5 wins (-145)

New York Giants OVER 9 wins (+115)

Washington UNDER 6 wins (even)

Arizona UNDER 6.5 wins (+170)

I also bet on the Rams to win the NFC West at +140 (this line went way down from when it opened in July).