The Scoop

By Dalton Del Don

Mark Teixeira has hit .252 over the past two seasons, and since he doesn’t run, it’s easy to consider him overrated as a three-category player who will likely cost a second round pick (ADP: 27.25). I disagree and consider him a top-15 fantasy player. During his three years in New York, he’s averaged 37 homers, 114 RBI and 102 runs scored. The latter shouldn’t be overlooked, as that’s strong contribution in an underrated category, especially from a first baseman. It’s possible opponents’ shifts will continue to drive down his batting average, but I’d personally feel comfortable putting his over/under at his career line of .281 for 2012. For what it’s worth, his xBABIP was 57 points lower than his actual hit rate last season. Just because he was unlucky on balls in play the last two years doesn’t mean he’s “due” to receive good fortune this season, but it’s worth noting extreme flyball hitters’ batting averages fluctuate far more than groundball hitters, and Teixeira’s career line-drive percentage is a strong 20.9. And don’t forget, Yankee Stadium has an MLB-high 147 home run index for LHB since it opened, so as a switch-hitter who crushes lefties, a 45-homer type season can’t be ruled out.

When it comes to bull riding, this guy thinks eight seconds is kid’s play.

I’m sure most of you have seen this by now, but if not, this is easily my favorite restaurant review ever.

This own goal is among the craziest I’ve ever seen.

I’m not sure what to make of Brandon Morrow. His 10.19 K/9 rate led the American League last season, but that came with a 4.72 ERA (he finished with a 4.49 ERA the year before despite a 10.95 K/9). You don’t need to look up his FIP to come to the conclusion it’s been far lower than his ERA each of those past two campaigns. It’s also worth noting improved command led to a 1.29 WHIP last season, which was far better than his career mark (1.38). While these underlying peripherals and remarkable strikeout ability may portend huge things to come, at some point, there has to be a concern he’s Ricky Nolasco 2.0. In 2010, Morrow held hitters to a .222/.325/.293 line with the bases empty compared to .280/.351/.395 with runners on. Last year it was .217/.292./.307 compared to .267/.346/.393, so there’s real concern he becomes a much worse pitcher out of the stretch. In fact, Morrow induced just one GIDP all of last season! Read that again. Of course, that’s just a two year sample, and his career LOB% is actually 70.8, which is league average. After posting baseball’s second-highest SwStr% (11.5) last season, it’s clear Morrow has a ton of upside, but it sure would be nice if he figured out how to stop allowing so many runs while simultaneously missing so many bats.

This monkey “attack” is pretty awesome.

In 911 call, this mother calmly reported, “I think I left my child at Chuck E. Cheese last night.”

This footage of a bus driver smashing into a biker is pretty horrifying.

Billy Butler probably has an over/under of around 20 homers this season, and he’s likely only DH-eligible in most leagues. He’s also averaged just 76 runs scored over the past three seasons, despite missing a total of 10 games over that span, partially because of poor teammates but also because he’s one of the slower runners in baseball. While it may hurt his chances of winning a batting title like I expect him to one of these years (he or Howie Kendrick will one day, I swear), it’s interesting just how different his approach at the plate was before and after the All-Star break last season. Entering the ASB, Butler had a 43:49 K:BB ratio with a .415 slugging percentage. Afterward, he posted a 52:17 K:BB ratio with a .511 SLG. Yes, SSS caveats apply, but that’s a pretty drastic change at a fundamental level. Here were his GB/FB rates over the final five months of last season: 2.09, 2.44, 1.48, 0.78, 0.97. Again, if he continues this new approach, a lower BA may follow, but after hitting 13 homers over his final 70 games last season, a run at 30 bombs in 2012 may not be out of the question.

It’s not often you see pranks pulled on cops, but here’s one.

Speaking of pranks, this one involves people buying meat that’s fresher than usual.

We interrupt this report on performing breast self-exams to watch Peyton Manning get off an airplane.

Derek Holland has the tough task of pitching his home games in Texas, but he posted a 3.06 ERA with a 1.21 WHIP and an 80:26 K:BB ratio over 88.1 innings after the All-Star break last season and has the upside to finish as a top-15 fantasy starter this year. He saw his average fastball velocity rise from 92.1 mph in 2010 to 94.2 mph in 2011, which is a significant leap. In fact, only David Price had a faster average among all left-handers in baseball. Holland is highly talented and could easily breakout and provide a huge profit based on where he’s going in most drafts.

I like to think of myself as something of a foodie, and during my recent trip to Phoenix for LABR, I ate at both Pizzeria Bianco and Matt’s Big Breakfast, but I also must admit I tried Taco Bell’s new Doritos taco the day it came out. The former were both 100% legit, but I’ll also concede the latter wasn’t the worst either, although I hate myself for saying that.

During the aforementioned LABR trip, I read Chuck Klosterman’s “The Visible Man,” and although the ending was disappointing, I still can’t recommend it enough. Maybe I’m the perfect target audience as someone who graduated with a degree in psychology and enjoys Klosterman’s take on pop culture, but I’m also not a big fan of science fiction, which is also a bit at play here. To me, this was the true definition of a page-turner.

Chris Young has a career .240 batting average, but for someone who’s averaged 24 homers and 25 steals over the past two seasons, his ADP (33) among outfielders seems low. While it’s tough to distinguish ex post facto excuses versus real causation that we didn’t know about at the time, Young apparently played through a pretty serious ligament injury to his thumb over the second half of last year, which is certainly backed up by his post ASB numbers (.193/.329/.311). While playing hurt and losing seven homers from the season prior, Young actually had more extra-base hits in 2012 compared to 2011 and both his K% and BB% improved, and only Coors Field is a better hitters’ park in the National League than Chase Field (especially for right-handed batters). You won’t find someone who could approach 30/30 cheaper at draft tables.

I have no idea if this absurd exchange on Facebook is real, but I choose to believe it is.

Goat seen eating pizza at Midtown restaurant.

This fighter actually knocked himself out.

I’m all for targeting boring veterans in fantasy baseball, and I doubt Michael Young will be aggressively drafted this year, but caution still needs to be advised. Obviously, his .338 BA should be expected to drop around 35 points, and while he’ll continue to benefit from his home park and Texas’ lineup, realize the 35-year-old hit just 11 home runs last year, including only three after the All-Star break, as he hits so few balls in the air (26.5 FB%). The discrepancy between his 11 HRs and 106 RBI is the key here, as not only did Young benefit from coming to the plate with an abnormal amount of baserunners on last season, he went from hitting .297 with the bases empty to .383 with runners on. Almost all hitters perform better with runners on, but as Bill James states in his recent Handbook, “it’s like a perfect storm, a freakish combination of events.” James goes further and posts a study that reveals almost always there’s a huge regression in performance after such a rare season occurs. Young isn’t likely to be a total bust this year, but he could easily add five homers to his tally and lose 30 RBI from last season’s total.

Man seriously injured by gas explosion.

This chainsaw wielding maniac deserved his fate.

This footage is tough to watch, and among my friends the conclusion seems to be equal on both sides, but the one thing not in dispute is that it’s crazy.

Scott Baker was quietly one of the better pitchers in baseball last season before getting shut down, posting a 3.14 ERA with a 1.17 WHIP and a 123:32 K:BB ratio over 134.2 innings. He’s typically been a big help in WHIP as an extreme flyball pitcher, finishing with a mark below 1.20 in three of his past four years, and with that profile, it’s safe to expect closer numbers to last year than the season prior with the way Target Field has played, assuming he’s healthy. Since its inception, only Kauffman Stadium (remember this prospective Eric Hosmar and Alex Gordon owners) has a lower HR Index for LHB than Target Field (68). Baker was clearly hurting at the end of last season, and if rest healed the problem, which he claims, he could be a steal in fantasy leagues. Baker had a 3.8 K:BB ratio, which was better than CC Sabathia, and his flyball tendencies are a perfect fit for his home park.

Follow me on Twitter.