Silly Sports Illustrated

By Robby Wellington – Staff Writer

When I arrived home from work today, my mom (I know, I know, it’s only temporary) greeted me with a big smile and the latest issue of Sports Illustrated, a special fantasy football issue, featuring 14 pages of beefed-up coverage! Now Dalton has commented on this before, but it cannot be emphasized enough; Sports Illustrated is obviously the premiere sports magazine in the country and has been for 40 years. Yet every year, when it puts out its season preview for the big three sports, SI insists on accompanying it with a haphazard laugher of a fantasy guide. This issue marked the first time ever that the magazine gave fantasy sports its own cover, and I was cautiously optimistic that their coverage may actually be useful. After all, Larry Johnson was listed on the cover as the number one player, clearly a promising sign (I was kind of hoping for Sir Brett Favre, oh well). So, bracing myself for some serious fantasy coverage or, at the very least, a few chuckles, I took the magazine from mom and hit the head for a quick and timely perusal.

First up we have the running backs, humm . . . this looks pretty good actually, sure Lamont Jordan seems a little low at No. 13 and DeAngelo Williams and Cedric Benson are ranked 10 and 15 spots ahead of incumbents DeShaun Foster and Thomas Jones, respectively, but not bad SI, not bad. Oh wait, there’s my man Domanick Davis languishing down at No. 26. We can now officially move on.

Wide receivers look a tad bit silly; Larry Fitzgerald is No. 2, two spots ahead of Steve Smith and well ahead of No. 8 Torry Holt. Randy Moss comes in at No. 13, directly ahead of good old Terry Glenn. Brandon Lloyd is No. 18, a meager 16 spots ahead of that scrub Darrell Jackson. Next. . .

Ah, here they are, the quarterbacks. Tom Brady has usurped Peyton Manning for the top spot, and No. 8 Mark Brunell is singled out for being “on the rise,” as he “will approach 3,500 yards and 30 TDs.” Umm, OK. Props to SI for going along with RotoScoop in actually giving Kurt Warner some love at the No. 6 spot, but poor Marc Bulger is stuck at No. 15. Donovan McNabb is overrated in almost everything I read, but even I think that No. 14 is a tad bit harsh for the guy. Heavens to Betsy! One of my favorite sleepers, Aaron Brooks, is stuck down at No. 30. Ouch.

The tight ends look pretty respectable. Sure, Jeremy Shockey at No. 4 is a bit low, and Dallas Clark at No. 6 is ridiculous, but there’s not much else to comment on here. I couldn’t even comment on the kickers, since no self-respecting fantasy football player gives a damn about them . . . wait a second! Adam Vinatieri is No. 1 ahead of Neil Rackers?! The same Neil Rackers who just turned in the greatest kicking season of all-time and is not only the focal point of Arizona’s rebuilding efforts, but also the sole source of the unbridled enthusiasm and elation that permeates the desert? He’s not No. 1?! That’s it, I’m cancelling my Sports Illustrated subscription. Unbelievable.


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6 responses to “Silly Sports Illustrated”

  1. maddendude Avatar

    ESPNs draft kit looks alright. They have Akers ahead of Rackers though. But their cheatsheet really stinks. What they try to do, it seems, is pick sleepers ahead of the proven, which really doesn’t make sense. Sleepers are sleepers for a reason. They predict 30 TDs for Brunell? I would’ve stopped reading right there.

  2. T. Avatar
    T.

    Yeah what a joke, they shouldn’t even try if they did it so half-assed. Brunell is definitely on the rise !

  3. randy Avatar
    randy

    maybe i could offer mcgrady, smush parker and przbilla for odom and josh smith and lafrentz, but i like przbilla more than most———–what ya think on that————thanks

  4. RotoScoop Avatar
    RotoScoop

    You are going to have to start either one (Przybilla or LaFrentz), right? That would be your No. 2 C behind Bosh? I like Przybilla also, after all, I had him on my team for that monster finish to the 2004-2005 season. But LaFrentz joins him on the Trailblazers, and I could easily see an even split in minutes. And while Przybilla will still be more valuable since he provides the blocks (the toughest cat to get in fantasy b-ball), if that’s what it takes to get the deal done, I might just do it.

  5. Bob Avatar
    Bob

    Bulger #14? Darrell Jackson #34? D. Davis#26? Yeah, they should probably stop trying to do fantasy articles.

  6. Robby Avatar
    Robby

    Madden – I was kidding about Rackers. He had an awesome season but I think kicker rankings are silly and I don’t even carry one on my team until right before the season starts.

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